He Had Gray Eyes
by Cloudsong
Summary: I had always lived in my cousin Rose's shadow. She was older, prettier, and much more popular than me. Though she was my only friend, when I was younger, I never really could get over the fact that I was the smaller version of her in every way.
1. Chapter 1

I had always lived in my cousin Rose's shadow. She was older, prettier, and much more popular than me. Though she was my only friend, when I was younger I never really could get over the fact that I was the smaller version of her in every way. Rose was tall, with bright orange hair and green eyes, where I was short, with light strawberry-blonde hair, and green eyes.

When I was with my cousin, (which was most of the time before Hogwarts started..) I was always cast aside by others- no one paid attention to me, and I learned to expect that from them. Rose was my only friend, while I was only a minor friend from her large group of buddies.

The only time I felt comfortable to be myself was when I was alone. There I felt that I couldn't be judged every moment. While in front of people, I was quiet, passive, and agreeable. When I was alone it was only slightly different; I liked singing when I was alone. No one had ever heard me, except for Rose of course. She sometimes would barge into my room at the most unexpected times, and I was caught off-guard.

When I came to Hogwarts for the first time, my cousin was in her second year, and was already the center of attention. At first I tried desperately to meet the standards for being her friend, but one day she took me aside.

"Look, Lily," Rose had said to me. "During the summer we're always friends, but here its different- I can't be seen hangin' out with a first year." Her words stung, but I pretended to agree.

"Oh- that's fine," I had said in a subdued voice, forcing a smile. She beamed before bouncing off towards her waiting group of friends, and I didn't dare follow.

After Rose had told me the truth about how she felt about me, I became a complete outsider- I didn't talk to anyone apart from the teachers, and occasionally to my room-mates. When I was alone I would sometimes cry, and write long stories about this-and-that.

Writing became my passion in life. I wrote stories, essays, and poems. My shabby notebook that I had gotten as a birthday present when I was six got full of compositions very quickly, and I continued to buy more, and as time went by, I even wrote songs.

When I came back to Hogwarts for my second year on the Hogwarts Express, I didn't know where to sit- last year I had sat with Rose, but this time I felt utterly lost. I wandered around idly as the compartments got filled up with chattering students with their friends.

Only once did I catch a glimpse of my cousin, and she was laughing and joking with her very-large group of friends. _Like usual, _I thought with a sigh. I didn't try to stick myself to her.

I had no hope in finding an empty compartment- they had all been filled, or at least had one or two people in them. The train whistled, warning the students that it was going to leave, and the ushers from the train walked up and down, making sure the hallways were cleared. I was left standing vulnerably by myself, as one of the ushers approached, her eyes narrowed.

"What are you doing out?" the woman barked at me, and I flinched away at her tone.

"I- I-" I couldn't find words to express why I was still out here.

The woman picked up my suitcase, and marched me up to the front-direction of the train, and for a second I was worried that she would throw me off. "Here- you can sit in here." She said harshly, opening a door to a compartment, and stuffing my suitcase on the rack above the chairs. I hoped desperately that there weren't too many people inside.

Seeing that I wasn't making any effort to go near the compartment, the woman pushed me inside, and I sat down, my cheeks containing a faint pink tinge.

The door shut with a _snap, _making me jump slightly. For a while I didn't dare look up to see who was sitting there, afraid they might make fun of me, which was a hobby many students enjoyed.

Finally, mustering up my courage, I looked up. A boy sat across from me. He had blonde hair and gray eyes. I recognized him at once- he was the boy that Rose had a crush on. _Scorpius Malfoy, _I thought grimly. He was an outsider like me, though many people would usually badger him because his family was very rich.

I sighed with relief, for Scorpius wasn't a bully, and he was quiet, like me.

Scorpius was fast asleep, his head leaning against the window. He was wearing his school robes, and his blonde hair was slicked back slightly, as if he had just washed it.

I didn't dare make very much noise, not wanting to wake him. Quickly I took out my note-book and a pencil, and began to write.

He didn't wake up until the lunch trolley arrived.

I didn't notice him move, for I was so lost in what I was writing. When he yawned and stretched, I jumped from shock. He saw my reaction and smiled.

For a moment I was scared that he might bully me, but anxiety seemed to disappear when I saw his smile- it was so sincere and happy, that it was contagious.

"You're Lily Potter, aren't you?" Scorpius asked, still smiling.

I nodded. "Yes," I said, my voice shaking slightly. "You're Scorpius Malfoy," I said, thrilled at how my voice was clear and stronger.

He frowned slightly, having misread the tone in my voice. "There's nothing wrong with my name," he began in a slightly defensive tone.

I blinked. "No, of course not!" I said quickly.

He shrugged slightly, and glanced down at my lap, where my large notebook was. "Are you doing homework?" he asked curiously. "I didn't bother with mine- I can do them quickly tomorrow morning." He mused.

"No, I finished my homework last month," I said. "I'm writing a story," I said slowly and deliberately.

He blinked. "What's it about?" he asked curiously.

I debated whether or not I should tell him. _What if he makes fun of it? _I asked myself. I didn't really think he would make fun of it- he seemed nice and sincere.

"Its about a girl who lives by herself in the arctic," I said finally.

Scorpius seemed intrigued. "By herself? With no parents or anything?" he asked incredulously.

"Her parents are dead," I told him. "She doesn't have any friends- everyone thinks she's strange..." My voice trailed off, and I hoped I hadn't made him think that I was strange myself.

"That sounds really cool," Scorpius said, his eyes bright. "Is this the first time you're writing a story?" he asked conversationally.

I shook my head. "I write all the time," I said, smiling slightly. "I love writing."

Scorpius grinned when he saw me smile. "Can I read one of your stories one day?" he asked hopefully.

I stopped dead. No one had ever read my stories, so I hadn't ever received any feed-back. "I-" I stuttered. "Sure," I said finally. I could always hope that after we stopped at Hogwarts he would forget about it.

He continued to smile. "Cool," he said, scratching the back of his head thoughtfully. "I don't write very much- I'm more of the artistic kind." He joked.

"Writing is a form of art," I pointed out.

Scorpius nodded. "Yeah, but I meant I like drawing." He shrugged, turning a faint shade of pink. "Most people think drawing is for girls..." His voice trailed off, and he looked away, embarrassed.

I shook my head. "Drawing isn't for girls!" I exclaimed. "Some of the most famous artists were male."

"I know, but..." Again he was at a loss for words. "I'm not ever going to bed famous- my drawing sucks." He made a face.

I laughed, something I usually didn't do in public. "Can I see?" I asked.

Scorpius seemed slightly shocked that someone was interested in his art. "Really? Most people don't like seeing my art," he muttered, but he was already rummaging around in his trunk, looking for his sketch book.

I waited patiently until he emerged again, grasping a medium-sized sketch book. It was very battered, like my writing note-books. He handed it to me. "Don't make fun of it," he warned.

I took the book, and smiled reassuringly at him. "I would never do that!" I exclaimed, putting the book on my lap. I opened it up, and my eyes widened.

I found myself staring at the most beautiful drawing ever- it was of a landscape, with a large lake in the distance. The picture seemed to jump off of the page it was so realistic. I seemed to be gazing at photograph. "That's amazing," I breathed, staring as if I were hypnotized. The sun was shining on the water, making the lake seem to _glow_ and _shine_.

Scorpius smiled slightly. "Thanks," he said, his eyes bright. "I draw things that inspire me..."

I turned the page in the book delicately, not wanting to accidently rip the page. The next picture in the book was of a woman. It was done with only pencil, making it seem black-and-white. She was gazing out into the distance, a single tear streaking down her cheek. The picture was so breath-taking, that I was transfixed.

"That's my mom," Scorpius said, motioning to the woman in the painting. "This was when my dad died."

I choked slightly. "Your father died? That's awful." I felt horrible for him- my father held such an important role in my life, that I couldn't _imagine_ how my life would be without him.

Scorpius didn't betray any emotion, though I knew he felt sorrow within him. "Yeah, I was ten."

I blinked. "You drew this when you were ten?" I asked in amazement.

He nodded. "Its not one of my best ones- I think my drawing has improved."

"Wow," I repeated. "You're an artist." I turned the page again, looking down at the sad woman once more.

The next painting was of a casket. It too was in only pencil, making the portrait seem dreary and depression. Despite the sorrow it portrayed, it was beautiful as well. A single rose was laid delicately on the top of the lid. A woman stood not far away, and I realized it was the same woman that was in the other portrait; Scorpius' mother. She stood with many other people, though her face was the only one visible within the blur that Scorpius had created. She was looking down, her eyes closed.

Scorpius watched my reaction closely, as if afraid I was going to say that his beautiful portraits were frightful.

"This is beautiful," I said, my own yes pooling with tears. I quickly turned the page, not wanting to look at the picture anymore in fear that I would burst into tears.

The next picture in the book was happier- it was of a kitten, its tiny paw reaching through the bars of its cage. Again this painting seemed to be a photo it looked so beautiful. "Is this your cat?" I asked.

"Yeah," Scorpius nodded. "His name's Noel." He smiled at the thought of the little cat. "I got him for my mom, you know, to make her feel better after..." He couldn't finish his sentence, though I knew what he meant.

This painting was in color, making it seem like a photograph that you would see in a calendar. It seemed so realistic that Rose was tempted to reach out and stroke the painting.

"He's beautiful," I said, smiling. He returned the smile, and motioned me to turn the page again.

I obliged, turning the page again. I was looking at a painting of Scorpius himself. I glanced up at the real Scorpius, comparing the similarities.

"It looks just like you!" I complimented.

He smiled. "That one was hard, I had to do it facing a mirror." He grimaced at the memory. "It was really difficult not to move for a few hours." He laughed.

I turned the page again, and a smile lit up my face. The painting was merely of a cat paw-print, smudged slightly.

"I dipped Noel's paw in paint and stuck it there," Scorpius laughed. "He wasn't too happy about it."

Again I laughed, imagining how the fluffy cat would have protested.

"There are more, but you can see them some other time," Scorpius said. He seemed to want to do something else- perhaps his homework he had neglected.

"Okay," I agreed quickly, though I wanted to spend a long time looking at his beautiful paintings. "I really love how you draw," I said, trying to make him see how much I had enjoyed looking at his work.

A smile lit up his face. "Thanks!" he exclaimed. "I usually don't show my paintings to anyone."

I nodded, feeling honored that he had chosen _me_ to show them too. "Thanks for showing them to me,"

He sat back in his chair again, casting his sketch-pad to the open seat next to him. "So," he said, glancing out the window. "This is your second year going to Hogwarts, right?" He seemed to want to talk, which surprised me.

"Yes," I said quickly. He was in third year. "Do you like Hogwarts, or do you find it boring?"

Scorpius looked thoughtful. "I love hanging out there, but sometimes I don't like how they give so much homework."

I nodded. "I don't mind the homework much- but it _is_ annoying sometimes."

Scorpius was silent for a while. "You don't have many friends, do you?" His tone wasn't accusing, just faintly curious.

"No," I said, looking down at my feet. The shyness I usually obtained crept into me again. "No one likes hanging out with me much." I didn't want him to feel sorry for me- just wanted him to understand that it wasn't me that was anti-social.

"Why not?" He seemed honestly confused. "I know I just met you and all, but you seem really..." He searched for the right words the say. "...Likable." He finished.

I was slightly shocked; this was the first compliment I had ever recieved that didn't come from my family. "Thanks," I said happily, though I didn't show my emotion through my voice. "You seem really pleasant too."

He grinned. "Thanks!" He stuffed his hands into his robe pockets. "Hey- what if we hung out together in Hogwarts?" he asked hopefully.

Was he serious? "You really mean it?" I breathed, my heart skipping a beat.

"Sure! Why not?" He seemed as eager as I was.

"I'd love to hang out with you!" I exclaimed. My heart was beating so fast I wouldn't be surprised if it burst out of my chest.

Scorpius was still smiling. "But you're in Gryffindor," He said suddenly. "I'm in Ravenclaw." He seemed upset.

Was this his way of saying he re-thought? "I wouldn't mind hanging out with you, even if we're in different houses." I said boldly.

His smile returned. "Great! I was afraid you'd be unwilling to hang out with someone from another house." He looked out the window for a while. "I don't understand why some people are like that." He said finally.

I nodded. "My brother thinks that all Slytherins are scum." I made a face. "I don't agree with him on that- everyone should be treated equal."

He nodded. "Yeah! I hate when people are prejudice against someone because of their _house. _I mean before- when the war was going on- I can sort of understand, but now it makes no sense."

"Yes," I agreed. "Some people dislike other houses because their parents were like that."

Scorpius nodded. "Our parents were from different houses, and they didn't like each other."

I looked away, feeling uncomfortable. My uncle Ron had always spoken badly about Draco Malfoy, and Harry would usually agree with him. "Yeah," I murmured. I didn't want to offend him by saying what my parent's opinions were.

As if he were sensing my discomfort, Scorpius changed the subject. "Do you think we'll be arriving at Hogwarts soon?" he wondered.

I shrugged, glancing out of the window. It was dusk, and I was slightly shocked to see how time had flew with him. "Maybe in an hour," I estimated. "I should go put my robes on." I stood up and took my trunk down from the luggage rack.

Scorpius watched me, looking inside of my trunk as I opened it. It was mostly full of notebooks that I had used in the past, and he smiled. "Are those your school books?" he asked politely. They were battered and full of splotches where I had tested my quills.

"No," I laughed slightly. "My notebooks." I pulled one out, and handed it to Scorpius. "That's my poem book," I said, as he took the book and turned it over so he could read the title. "You can read some while I'm gone," I allowed, picking up my robes and heading for the door.

He seemed thrilled. "Okay!" he exclaimed, plopping down onto his seat again and opening my shabby book. "Seeya soon, Lily!" he called as I shut the door behind me.

I liked how he said my name. It wasn't jeering or unfriendly as most others would say it; it was sincere and _nice_. It made me smile slightly.

When I returned, I found him still reading from the book. He had a delighted expression on his face, and he glanced up when I came in. "These are amazing!" he exclaimed. "I love the one about the feather." He turned pages back to the poem that was about the feather that fell from far above.

I smiled and sat down next to him. "Thanks," I said. "I wrote that one last month."

He glanced over at me. "You wrote this whole book since last month?" He seemed amazed; the book had been more than half-way filled out, and this poem was at the beginning. "You write fast!"

"Thanks," I said again, smiling.

He continued to read, smiling and pointing a few details that he liked out. We talked for a long time, and I began to enjoy his company very much.

And so, it was the beginning of a new era, and to my pleasure, this era contained a friend.


	2. Chapter 2

To my delight, Scorpius stuck with his suggestion that we would be friends after we reached Hogwarts. I was slightly surprised at first -no one usually liked hanging out with me- but I soon got used to it, and learned to enjoyed his company very much.

We would countless hours after and between classes out on the school grounds, (when the weather wasn't too cold) or just sitting around inside. He would tell me about his house and his family, and I would tell him about mine. Sometimes we would merely sit together while we did homework- but even at that, I loved spending time with him.

He made me feel as if I _belonged_, which was a feeling that I usually never felt. We had so many similarities that it was almost as if we knew each other our whole life. Scorpius became my best friend, and I his.

It didn't bother me in the slightest that he was a year older than me, except for the fact that we could never have classes together. Apparently he had been skipped up a year ahead of his age, so we were actually around the same age. He wasn't in my house either- he was in Ravenclaw while I was in Gryffindor myself. Neither of us spent very much time in our common rooms; I because I didn't have any friends there, and he because he said that he preferred being with me than his colleagues.

A week into the school semester, I was walking by myself towards my class, when someone stopped me.

I looked up, feeling slightly wary; when I wasn't with Scorpius, many people would stop me to either jeer at the fact that I was always with a boy, or to demand if we were dating. We weren't, of course, because Scorpius only thought of me as a friend- and I thought the same way about him.

To my surprise, it was my cousin, Rose, and she didn't look happy. In fact, her eyes were portraying the anger she felt. "Why are you spending so much time with Scorpius?" she spat.

For a moment I was confused- Rose hadn't shown any sign of disapproval about my friendship with him- but then I realized the only times I had seen her throughout this week was when she was with her friends, and she wouldn't have dared make a scene in front of them.

"What do you mean? We're just friends," I said timidly. Whenever I was alone, I usually would regain my shyness.

Rose tapped her foot impatiently. "You have no right to hang out with him," she snarled. "I _told_ you that I liked him!" She glared at me. "Have you no respect for my feelings?"

I was slightly shocked- if anything, it would be _her_ with no respect for _my_ feelings. I hadn't forgotten how she had spoken to me and ignored me throughout first year.

"I'm not doing anything wrong; you can't control who I'm friends with." I said bravely.

"Oh really?" Rose smirked. "Uncle Harry wouldn't be too pleased to know that you're hanging out with a _Malfoy_."

I didn't flinch. "Your father would be more upset if he found out his daughter had a _crush_ on Malfoy." I was pleased at how my self-esteem had grown since I had been friends with him. "And besides, I already told my dad about him in my letters." This wasn't a lie; I had owled my father every other day, and in almost every letter I had mentioned my friendship with Scorpius. He didn't seem to have a problem with it.

Rose glared at me, and paced around me in agitated circles. She made me dizzy.

"You like lots of boys- you never had any particular interest in Scorpius." I pointed out reasonably.

Rose's eyes flashed. "Don't you understand?" she spat. "If you get together with him instead of me-"

"-That's not going to happen-" I tried to interrupt her, but another glare from her silenced me.

"-Then it would be a blow to my status." She said passionately. "People wouldn't take me seriously anymore."

I couldn't help but gape at her for a moment. "A status of what? Of being a tramp?" My temper was rising- how could my cousin be so shallow?

She looked slightly shocked as I insulted her- I usually would _never_ insult anyone. "If I find out you're still hanging out with him, you're going to pay." She hissed. And with that, she marched off, leaving me alone.

How could I stop hanging out with him? How could my cousin be so selfish? I had never had a friend before- and she was willing to take my first friend away, just to keep her _status_ up?

I _wouldn't_ stop seeing him- I **couldn't**. I felt like crying- what exactly had Rose meant by 'you're going to pay'? Would she get her bully-friends to beat me up?

Somehow I found myself on the floor, tears pooling in my eyes. I leaned against the wall, hugging my knees to my chest.

Realization hit me like a stone- if I didn't stop seeing Scorpius, bad things would happen.

Authors Note**:**

** Sorry for a short chapter- I'm half-way done with the third one, which will most likely be longer!**

**Thanks for all the reviews!**


	3. Chapter 3

I walked swiftly from Charms class five days after Rose's warning. I had stuck with her threat, and I had been avoiding Scorpius for a long time. I had taken to the habit of hiding in the strangest places- closets, behind curtains- not wanting to meet Rose, or Scorpius.

It was very hard for me to accept that I wouldn't be able to have a friend anymore, and I hoped desperately that Scorpius wasn't as effected as I was on the whole deal.

I was almost positive that he would notice my absence- for the first week we had spent as much time as possible together- and I knew that it was inevitable that he would find me sometime and demand why I was avoiding him.

"Lily!" The only-too-familiar voice called suddenly. Scorpius was jogging to keep up with my quick pace.

I slowed down slightly, not wanting to try to run away- I wasn't a very fast runner due to the fact that I had short legs.

He caught up to me, of course. "Why have you been avoiding me?" he asked, his voice sounding hurt.

"I- I can't explain," I said softly, refusing to meet his gaze. I didn't want him to see that I was at the verge of tears again.

"Why not?" he demanded in an almost-angry voice. "What did I do to offend you?"

I stopped dead, and he did as well. "You didn't do anything," I said. "I've been staying away from you for..." My voice trailed off, and I tried to think of a good excuse, but there was none. "...Personal reasons..." I finished lamely.

He wasn't convinced. "What kind of personal reasons?" he asked.

"Someone told me I couldn't be friends with you anymore." I blurted out finally, not able to stand lying to him.

He frowned, and I was under the impression that he didn't believe me. "Why?" he asked finally.

"Because that person likes you." I mumbled.

Again he was confused. I slowly looked up at him, trying to see his reaction.

"Oh," he said finally. "Who was that person?"

"I- can't tell you." I choked out; Rose would _kill_ me if she found out I ratted her out.

He seemed slightly angry. "Lily! You can't just let people control you like that." His voice was laced with worry. "If someone's threatening you, you should tell a responsible adult."

i shook my head. "Nothing will happen if we just stay away from each other." I hated how my voice shook.

"No," Scorpius said slowly. "Why should we stop being friends because of someone else's opinion?" His voice was defiant, and I admired his courage.

"But they'll be mad at me..." My voice trailed off lamely.

"They'll have to deal with me first if they want to get to you." He sounded like my brother, James; James was always trying to protect me.

I smiled. "Really? So we can be friends?" i sounded hopeful.

"Only if you want too," He was grinning.

"Then its decided," I held my hand out, and he shook it.

Our friendship was back on track.

"Hey Lilly, what's the Draught of Living Death do?" Scorpius asked me, briefly looking up from his homework.

It had been a week after we had become friends again, and we were sitting out in the grounds underneath the willow tree, our books spread out on the grass around us.

"I thought you learned that today," I teased. I was far better at potions than he was, and he often would ask me for advice or help on his homework.

He made a face. "Sort-of..." he muttered.

I laughed. "Its a potion that makes the drinker go into a deep sleep, making them almost seem dead."

His eyes lit up. "Ah! I remember!" He began scribbling down on his notebook, and I returned to my Charms homework.

He didn't make a sound for a while, besides the scribble of his quill. "Ha! They asked what Polyjuice Potion was." He seemed pleased that he knew what the answer for that was.

I didn't look up from my writing.

"Wish I could get hold of some of that," Scorpius said thoughtfully.

I looked up. "Who would you want to transform into?" I asked curiously.

He grinned. "Slughorn!" He laughed.

I chuckled. "Why him? I'd be McGonagle."

"It would be so fun- we could order students around."

I scratched my quill against my skin, making a dark line of ink appear. "You could become a prefect for that," I pointed out.

"But I'd have to wait until fifth year." He sighed, and collapsed onto the grass. "Bet you'd make a good prefect."

"Me? Why?" I didn't think I would have the guts to give someone detention- much less order them around.

"Because you have confidence in yourself!"

I stopped playing with my quill. Was he joking? Everyone knew I had one of the lowest self-esteems in the entire school. "No I don't," I argued.

Scorpius rolled his eyes. "Well I for one think you do," he said positively. "Maybe you don't seem like you do on the outside- but you really do, in the inside. I have faith in that."

He had faith? In me? "Thanks," I said weakly, before returning to my charms homework.

**~*~***

The rest of the semester went by quickly, and Scorpius and I continued to endure our friendship. Rose had not commented about it, as I had made sure to stay out of her way, but I had a strange suspicion that over the winter holidays she would get back at me.

The thought of it frightened me, so I vowed that I would always stay near an adult whenever she was over.

But even though I kept to this decision, one day she cornered me.

I was helping my mother clean the dishes after christmas eve dinner, when suddenly I noticed another person walk into the room. I whipped around to see who it was, and my heart lurched when I saw Rose leaning against the doorway to the kitchen.

Ginny didn't seem bothered; in fact, she smiled at her, asking if she wanted to help.

"Sure!" Rose smiled angelically, coming over to stand next to my mother.

I shivered at the closeness- was she going to beat me up?

Ginny handed a clean dish to Rose. "Here- you two can finish up in here, I need to talk to Ron about something." She dried her hands on a kitchen towel, and began walking off.

I dropped the dish I was holding into the sink. It made a loud bang, but didn't break. "But- can't you stay here for a bit?" I asked, frightened.

Ginny looked confused. "No, it really is important." She came over and patted my shoulder. "I'll be back soon enough." She walked out of the room, leaving me with Rose alone. My hands shook as I went back to cleaning dishes. I was frightened of what Rose would do to me.

Rose began to dry the clean dishes that were in a pile next to her. I watched her from the corner of my eye for a while before getting back to work.

She was silent for a while, and I was wondering if she would speak at all. But then she changed that.

"So," she said slowly, making me jump slightly as her voice startled me.

I suddenly became absorbed in my work, hoping that she would stop.

"You're still friends with Scorpius," she hissed finally, putting her dry dish down with a bang.

I didn't flinch this time. I ran my dish under the sink-water to rinse it. "Yes."

Rose's eyes flashed. "I thought I told you-" She began.

"Rose, you can't boss me around." I interrupted her. "If I want to to be friends with Scorpius, then you can't stop me." I was slightly surprised at my bravery for sticking up for myself.

Rose glared at me. "Why are you sticking yourself to him? He doesn't even like you." She was trying to hurt my feelings.

It worked- but only for a moment. "Scorpius likes being my friend," I defended myself. "And you're just jealous that you don't have any real friends." Rose clenched her hands into fists, but remained silent.

"You made it perfectly clear in our first year at Hogwarts that you didn't want me near you." I began again. "And I respected that- and for an entire year I was alone- without _any_ friends." I threw the sponge into the sink. "And now that I finally get one friend, you have to try to stop me from hanging out with him." I dried my hands on a towel before getting to work again. "There are plenty of other boys that you like..."

Rose was still glaring at me as I looked up at her. "That's beside the point," she began angrily. "You knew I liked Scorpius."

"Then why don't you try hanging out with him?" I said loudly. "Stop fighting over something you don't even have."

Her face suddenly cleared, to reveal a smile. "You know what? I will try hanging out with him." She put the dish down. "I will be seeing you soon, Lily. And say good-bye to having Scorpius as a friend." She turned and walked away. "He'd much rather hang out with me." She threw over her shoulder.

I watched her go, wondering if she really would try to make Scorpius stop hanging out with me.


	4. Chapter 4

I sat with Scorpius on the train ride back to Hogwarts. He was quiet most of the time, working on some homework that he had been assigned for over the holidays. I was silent most of the time too, lost in my own thoughts for most of the time. What Rose had told me in our last conversation had disturbed me greatly; would she actually try to hang out with Scorpius? I didn't doubt that she would try, but would Scorpius pick her over me if he ever had to choose?

"So how was your holiday?" He asked after a while, making me jump slightly at the sound of his voice.

I shrugged. "Oh, you know..." My voice trailed off. "It was good," I didn't want to bring up the conversation I had had with my cousin.

Scorpius grinned. "Cool," he muttered, going back to his homework. I watched him scribble onto his parchment, not reading the words he was writing.

"How was yours?" I asked him as he paused to get more ink for his quill.

"It was okay," He shrugged. "My mother took me to France." He smiled at the memory. "We went by plane, and it freaked her out."

I laughed. "Wizards don't usually use planes," I commented. I had gone a few times by plane, when my parents wanted to go on vacation. The sensation wasn't pleasant, and I could imagine how Scorpius' mother would have been scared.

He nodded. "Yeah. It was my first time on a plane too." He dipped his quill into the ink bottle, and tested it out on the corner of his parchment to make sure it would work. "Its kind-of scary."

I blinked in understanding. "Yes," I agreed. "I went a few times before, because my father used to live with Muggles... And he thought it was perfectly safe to travel by plane."

Scorpius laughed. He opened his mouth to reply, but his answer was cut off by door to our compartment opening.

I looked up to see who had entered, and my eyes widened. Rose was standing in front of us, a smile fixed on her mouth. "Can I sit here?" she asked sweetly, watching Scorpius.

I glanced over at Scorpius. His eyes were full of confusion, but he shrugged. "If you want to." He muttered.

She took the seat next to Scorpius, sitting a little too close in my opinion. He seemed uncomfortable, and returned to his homework after staring at her awkwardly.

My cousin watched Scorpius write down some sentences onto his parchment before breaking the silence that our compartment had. "So how was your vacation, Scorpius?" she asked sweetly, batting her eyelashes.

I clenched my hands into fists, glaring out of the window. Was she _trying_ to make my life hell?

With slight difficulty, Scorpius answered. "Oh it was...fine..." He looked very uncomfortable around her, which made me narrow my eyes. Why was I feeling _jealous_?

Rose glanced over at me. "Is there a problem, Lily?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

My cheeks turned a faint shade of pink. "No." I said quietly, in the strongest voice I could muster. "Just wondering why you chose our compartment out of all of the other hundreds."

She blinked. "Can't I sit with my favorite cousin?" she asked, a false laugh following shortly.

I glared at her. "Judging by the fact that you-" I began.

She cut me off. "Lily!" she exclaimed, her eyes narrowing. "Are you saying you don't want me to sit here?"

Of course she had cut me off, I realized bitterly. She didn't want me to reveal the truth in front of Scorpius. "Well actually..-" I began.

Scorpius glanced up. "I'm actually curious myself." He piped up. "Why are you sitting here, Rose?"

A hurt expression fell upon Rose's face. "You don't want me to sit here?" she asked, pouting slightly.

I rolled my eyes, wishing she would leave.

"I don't _mind_..." Scorpius muttered. "Just _curious_, that's all."

Her face lit up. "So you want me here?" she asked in a triumphant voice.

I opened my mouth to disagree, but Scorpius cut me off.

"Well... sure, why not?" He smiled slightly.

My eyes widened. Why did he want her here? Wasn't he aware of all the horrible things she had _done_ to me?

_Of course he's not aware_, I thought acidly. Even if I had told him she had threatened me, Scorpius probably wouldn't believe me.

I shrank into the back of my chair, wanting to disappear. The confidence Scorpius had always made me feel had disappeared when Rose had entered the room.

Rose started conversation cheerfully with Scorpius, and he answered everything she asked, laughing at times. I realized with a heavy heart that he was _enjoying_ himself.

No one asked for my opinion throughout the entire train ride. I cried once, but no one noticed, which made me feel awful- unwanted. Rose was winning, and there was probably nothing I would be able to do to change it.


	5. Realization

A cold wind blew through the grounds of Hogwarts, but I remained where I was, sitting beneath a tree in the middle of February. It was frighteningly cold, and I saw people shooting me scathing looks from different places. But I remained where I was, lost in thought.

It was about a month after the train incident, and Rose had continued to hang out with Scorpius. At first I had tried to keep up with them, but I was always pushed to the side, mostly by Rose.

Scorpius hadn't payed much attention to me since, and it made me very disappointed to realize that he was probably only hanging out with me because no one better was there. When that better person came, he jumped at the chance, leaving me alone.

A single tear fell from my eyes, leaving a wet trail on my cheek. I felt worthless- unwanted. Was I that strange that my best friend preferred my cousin? Or was it that my cousin was so much better than me, that I didn't stand a chance?

I sat stilly, shivering against the cold, hugging my knees to my chest, when suddenly I saw someone walk up to me.

My head slowly moved upward to see who it was.

"Lily? What are you doing out here by yourself?" My brother, Albus was looking down at me.

I stood up when he said this. "I don't mind the cold." My chattering teeth proved my statement wrong.

He looked concerned. "C'mon, Lil. Lets go back to the castle." He put his arm around my shoulder, attempting to guide me back towards the school.

To my surprise, I resisted. "I can't go back there," I murmured. "Everyone will make fun of me." My voice was barely audible, and sounded mortified.

Albus blinked in confusion. "Who's making fun of you?" he demanded, and I knew he was thinking of ways to beat that person up.

I shook my head. _Everyone _made fun of me. Well maybe Scorpius was an exception, but he didn't even _talk_ to me anymore.

I found myself crying into my brother's chest. The tears I had been holding back for so long finally came, and I _welcomed_ them.

"Aw, Lily, what's wrong?" He patted my shoulder awkwardly, and I sniffed.

I knew I sounded immature to be crying at my age, but I just couldn't help it. I had lost my one and only friend. "I'm fine." I wiped my hand on my eyes, attempting to dry my tears.

His eyes were still full of concern. "Lily, you can tell me, you know." His voice was gentle, but I looked away. "You can trust me."

"I know I can," I said in a shaky voice. "But I can't tell you now."

He didn't seem very hurt, and he handed me a tissue. "Lets go back to the castle."

This time I didn't resist, and walked slowly back to the castle with him, attempting to dry my tears so that the rest of the school wouldn't see me crying.

**~*~***

I woke up the next morning feeling slightly better. The night before I had decided that I wouldn't let myself be entirely broken by this blow to my self-esteem. _Scorpius was just my friend..._ I had attempted to tell myself that, but at the slightest thought about him, I had felt my spirits fall. Why was he so important to me? I had only known him for a short time.

I had decided that if Scorpius preferred hanging out with Rose than me, then he didn't care about me as much as I cared about him. _Why should I pine over him if we're not even _**friends **_anymore?_

Silently I got dressed, picked up my bag, and walked determinedly down the dormitory room steps to the common room. It was almost entirely deserted; it was Saturday, and also a Hogsmeade day trip. I didn't want to go to Hogsmeade, because I knew that I would most likely find Rose and Scorpius having gone together.

"Hey, Lily!" I glanced around as someone called my name. A boy that was in my year was trotting swiftly up to me. I couldn't remember his name, but I smiled anyway, feeling slightly intimidated.

"Hello," I said softly, pushing my hair behind my ear- a nervous habit I had gotten into.

"Aren't you going to Hogsmeade?" he asked curiously.

I shook my head. "No," I said, looking down at my feet; I wouldn't dare look him in the eye.

He noticed my uncomfortable state, and blinked. "You know who I am right?"

My cheeks turned a faint pink shade. "Y-yes," I stuttered. "You're in my year... right?"

He grinned. "I'm Neil griffith." His voice was informative.

I got the courage to look at his face again. He was slightly taller than me, had brown hair, and unusually bright green eyes. "I'm Lily Potter."

"I know," Neil laughed. "You're friends with Scorpius Malfoy, aren't you? I've seen you hanging out with him." Was that jealousy I detected in his voice? _No, couldn't be_, I thought. _I just met him!_

"We _were_ friends," I said quietly. A lump grew in my throat as I mentioned his name. "Not anymore, I think."

"Oh," He seemed sympathetic. "Why?"

I shook my head. "I'd prefer not to talk about it." My voice wasn't curt, just honest.

He nodded, and one of his friends waved from the other side of the common room. "Well I'll see you around!" he said cheerfully, sprinting off towards his friends.

I watched him go, and bit my lip. Why had this boy spoken to me? Most of the boys ignored me, so this was _odd..._

Though I was slightly troubled, I continued down towards the steps leading to out of the common room. Shortly after I got out, I heard voices. Though I can't explain why I did this, I hid behind the corner of the hallway, listening.

"Hey you!" It was my cousin's voice, and I shrunk down towards the ground, desperately hoping that she wasn't talking to me.

"Rose!" my heart jolted as I recognized this voice too. "What's up?"

I heard Rose prance over to him. "I just got up!" She laughed, and my eyes narrowed. Why was I feeling jealous?

Scorpius laughed. "I was looking for Lily, have you seen her?" he asked curiously.

My heart skipped a beat. _He _was looking for _me? _I debated whether or not I should step out from my hiding place.

I could imagine Rose frowning. "Why?" she asked, probably pouting.

"I haven't been hanging out with her lately, and I was wondering if she wanted to go with me to Hogsmeade."

"Oh..." Rose's voice was full of jealousy. "She- Lily already left," she said slowly, inventing wildly.

"Really? She went to Hogsmeade?" Scorpius sounded slightly disappointed.

I breathed out angrily. She was _such_ a liar!

"Yeah," Rose said. "But _I'm_ free, if you're looking for someone to go with!" She giggled.

"Great!" Scorpius exclaimed. "Shall we go then?"

Rose probably nodded, but I couldn't see her reaction.

Their voices faded off into the distance until they were inaudible, and I angrily got up again.

_How could someone be so cruel? _The question remained burning in my mind, and I dejectedly walked off towards the Great Hall, deliberately walking the opposite way they had gone. It would only hurt me further if Rose and Scorpius saw me; he would probably still want to go with Rose rather than me.

I sighed. It was obvious that Scorpius had moved on... But would _I_ ever move on?


	6. Chapter 6

Silence met me as I opened the door to the Great Hall. It was very much empty, since most of the students were still at Hogsmeade. I sighed, and took a seat by the door. A few kids that were sitting a few feet away whispered urgently to each other as I sat down, but I didn't mind very much.

I ate quickly, not wanting to linger in the depressing room. It was very well lit, but most every room to me seemed depressing lately. I sighed.

Just as I finished my last bite, a person tapped me on the shoulder. I glanced up quickly, feeling intimidated.

"Hey, Lily!" I relaxed; it was my cousin, Hugo.

"Hi, Hugo," I said numbly. "How are you?" My voice was dead sounding, and he frowned.

"Fine..." His voice trailed off, and his eyes were full of concern. "Lily, what's wrong? Everyone's been noticing that you're sad."

Who did he mean by everyone? Probably just my family, judging by the fact that I didn't have any friends. "Don't worry, Hugo, I'm fine." I tried to smile, but I only succeeded in a grimace.

He didn't seem convinced, but to my relief, didn't press the subject. "Why aren't you going to Hogsmeade?" he asked quietly.

I shrugged. Who would I have gone with? No one liked me. "I have too much to do..."

Hugo blinked, staring at my face. Could he see right through me? Feeling intimidated, I looked down at my feet.

Eventually he cleared his throat. "Well I'm going down to Hogsmeade to buy a few things," he said clearly. "Want anything?"

I shook my head, still looking down at the ground. "Bye," I murmured, as I heard his footsteps retreating.

After I was sure he had gone, I got up silently, glancing around briefly. I along with a few first years, was the only one here. I slung my bag over my shoulder, and walked slowly out of the Great Hall, walking down a hallway that I usually didn't go through.

Hogwarts was so big, and I loved to explore it when I was sure that I was alone. This was one of these times, and my spirits rose as I walked swiftly through the corridors, singing softly to myself.

Singing was something I would only do when I was completely by myself, and since now I was by myself, I welcomed the happy feeling.

After a long while of exploring, I felt almost as if the hole that Scorpius had left in my heart was mended.

**~*~***

When I reached the common room a few hours later, most of the students that had been out were lazing around, chattering about what a good time they had had. I quickly walked by the large throng of students, and went over to the dormitory steps, taking them two by two. Just as I was about to open the door, it opened from the other side, to reveal a girl with bright orange hair, who had tears in her eyes. I took a step back, tripping backwards slightly, but regaining my balance quickly.

To my surprise, the girl was my cousin, Rose, and she was crying. When she saw that I was at the door, she quickly slammed the door and ran back in, where I heard sobs from behind the door.

I shifted my weight from one foot to another, wondering if I should go by anyway. _What if she beats me up? _I wanted to go to my dormitory, but I didn't want to risk getting a black eye, or a bruised self-esteem. After debating for awhile, I mustered up all of my courage, and pushed the door open.

Rose was crouched on the floor, hugging her knees to her chest, crying harshly. My eyes widened to see such a scene- my cousin was usually too tough to ever cry- and I found myself frozen with shock.

She didn't look for awhile, and continued her sobbing. My eyes softened as I saw her like that. I'm not a mean person, and even though my cousin had brought very much pain upon me, I couldn't just leave her like this.

I knelt down beside her, careful to keep my distance. "Rose? What's wrong?" I asked in a small voice.

She glanced up, and her tearful eyes flashed. "Go _away_!" she screamed, hiding her face in her knees again.

I fell backwards at the force of her voice, but I couldn't obey. "What's wrong?" I tried again.

She didn't answer, just shook her head, tears tricking down her leg from where they had fallen from her face. The sight of her made _me_ want to cry, but I told myself fiercely to _get a grip._

"S-s-s-_corpius_," That was the only thing my cousin was able to say through her tears, but I understood instantly.

"He rejected you?" I asked quietly. Though I should have been happy, I couldn't help but feel sorry for her.

"_No!"_ Rose choked out. "He didn't- didn't-" Her voice broke off with another sob.

"He didn't what?" I asked patiently, patting her awkwardly on her knee.

"H-he didn't ask me out."

I raised an eyebrow. "Is _that_ why you're crying?" I asked scathingly.

"Y-yes!" Rose sobbed, wiping her eyes with a hand, trying to stop the flooding tears. "W-what if he doesn't like me?"

_It would serve you right! _I breathed out sharply. Why was I feeling pity for this cruel person?

"What if he liked someone stupid like _you_?" Rose cried.

All the sympathy and pity I felt vanished, and I stood up to leave.

Rose saw me get up, and tears streamed down her cheek. "He was looking for _you_ today, not me."

I didn't comment, just picked up my bag and pushed my hair behind my ears. "I know."

She looked surprised. "H-how?"

I shook my head. "Rose, pull yourself together." My voice was strong, and it took me by surprise.

She sniffed, and dabbed at her wet eyes with a tissue. Rose finally stood up, towering over me, and suddenly I felt small and vulnerable. Not wanting to get beaten up, I left her there. I heard her blow her nose from outside of my dormitory, and she finally left, going into the common room, I guessed.

I sighed and collapsed onto my bed, my hair stretching out around me. The room was empty, as it usually was; my room-mates thought I was very strange, and spent as little time in here as possible. It didn't bother me very much to be myself, but I did feel loneliness tugging at my heart. I felt slightly as if I wanted to hang out with someone, but the only person I could think of was Scorpius. I angrily pushed that thought out of my mind, and pulled out my notebook.

I only wrote a few pages before I put it away again. It was odd, but I wasn't feeling very _inspired_. My favorite author, Jane griffith, once said in an interview that whenever she didn't feel inspired, she would go hang out with friends, and later on she would get that same inspired feeling. I smiled, remembering my favorite book written by her, which was titled 'The War of the World'.

Suddenly I stopped dead, and sat up erectly. Jane _griffith_. Neil _griffith_.

My heart skipped a beat. Was it just a coincidence that Neil had the same last name? Or could they possibly be related? I desperately wanted to find out, but I didn't think I had the courage to ask him.

I sighed. If Neil really was Jane's son, would I try to befriend him? I didn't think it was right to be friendly to him only because of his mother being an author, and I didn't want him to think that would be the reason. My mind raced; Neil seemed nice enough, and after a while of thinking it through, I decided I would ask him.


	7. Chapter 7

A gust of strong wind blew sharply through my dormitory, waking me up very suddenly. I sat bolt upright, staring wildly around my bedroom. My shock wore off soon after I saw the window of my room open. I looked around the room, seeing that my room-mates were gone, like usual... _Did they leave it open on purpose? Or did it just open by itself? _With some effort, I closed the window.

It was rainy that day, and there was a very strong wind fiercely blowing against the school I called home. I didn't mind the fierce weather, but the only down-side was that the common room was packed with people who weren't able to go out into the grounds. Usually I would have minded the crowd, but today I didn't mind very much. I lingered in a corner, watching my house-mates talk animatedly.

No one asked me to join in their conversations, and it didn't bother me in the slightest. Alone was how I usually liked to be.

From time to time, I glanced over at Neil. Curiosity pulsed through me; I had not asked him if his mother was indeed my favorite author. He was talking with his friends, hanging upside-down from an armchair. He laughed from time to time, ruffling his hair. He didn't resemble Jane Griffith very much, but a few features _did_ remind me of him.

I didn't dare approach him now, with so many people watching. Besides, his friends were there too, and they would probably tease me about it. Neil seemed cheerful, but not completely ecstatic, which was a good thing. He was calm, and seemed very kind. I couldn't help but smile as I watched him; he seemed like such a good person. A hole in my heart re-opened as I thought of Scorpius, and I felt my spirits plunder slightly.

After sitting sadly by myself for a while, I got up, leaving the cluttered common room behind me. I blindly walked down the steps that led out of the room, and sank to the floor next to the portrait. Why did the slightest thought of Scorpius make me want to break down and cry? I hugged my knees to my chest, sighing.

The portrait door open, but I didn't bother to look up. It was probably someone who would just ignore me, and I silently stayed where I was. I didn't look up until I realized that the person was standing in front of me. I caught my breath entirely as I saw that Neil was standing in front of me. I smiled slightly, my timid streak playing up. "Hello," I said weakly.

He looked concerned. "You okay?" He offered me a hand, intending that I would take it.

I didn't, just remained where I was. "I'm fine, thanks." My voice was muffled by the scarf I was wearing that covered my mouth.

He awkwardly scratched the back of his neck, shifting his weight from one foot to another. "Why are you here all alone?"

I shrugged. "I don't mind being alone...." I said quietly. The last thing I wanted was to be pitied.

Instead of walking away, he sat down next to me, smiling. "Don't you have any friends to hang out with?"

His tone wasn't accusing, just curious. I shook my head. "No, I don't have any friends." I wasn't trying to sound melodramatic, but why shouldn't I tell the truth?

Neil's eyes softened, and he smiled encouragingly at me. His smile was so contagious that I couldn't help but smile myself.

Suddenly I realized that this was the perfect opportunity to ask him if his mother was Jane. "Neil-" I began, but a shadow was cast upon us, and it cut my voice off.

I glanced up to see who was standing before us, and my mouth dropped open as I realized it was Scorpius. He looked disturbed, and a frown was etched on his face. I was slightly confused- why did he look angry that I was talking to someone else?

"Hello Lily," Scorpius said in a strained voice.

I blinked, feeling uncomfortable at his tone. I would prefer being with Neil at the moment, if he was going to take this attitude. "Hi." My tone matched his unfriendly voice.

Neil looked uncomfortable, staring at Scorpius. "Malfoy." He greeted him.

Scorpius sniffed. "Griffith." He turned to me again. "Well I'll be off then, I suppose, I don't want to intrude."

I opened my mouth to protest, but Neil answered for me.

"Don't worry, you can stay," Neil said quietly. "I'll see you later then, Lily." He seemed reluctant to leave, but he softly walked into the common room again. I didn't like seeing him leave, especially since Scorpius seemed angry.

Scorpius leaned against the wall, a thoughtful expression on his face. "That guy seems like a jerk."

Shock kept me quiet. The Scorpius_ I _used to know wouldn't insult people. Had Rose influenced him? "He's perfectly nice," I said bravely.

He glanced down at me, his eyes curious. "His mother is some author, I heard."

I glanced up sharply. "Really?" I asked, pretending to not have known this. "What's her name?"

He shook his head. "I don't know," he said quickly. "But why were you with him just now?" His tone was suspicious.

I blinked, and traced my finger along my knee. "Why not? There's no one else for me to hang out with..." I hoped he would catch my hint.

Scorpius sighed. "If this is about me hanging out with Rose..." He began in an irritated voice.

I cut him off. "No, Scorpius. It's not about you hanging out with Rose." Did he think I was a jealous person? I wouldn't let him get the better of me, so I stood up. "It's the fact that you ditched me the moment she came." I was amazed at my own bravery.

He looked shocked. "_Ditched_ you? I didn't _ditch_ you!"

"Then what did you do?" I asked quietly, my timid self returning.

Scorpius seemed at loss for words. "I...well maybe I did sort-of ditch you..."

I didn't speak, just waited for him to continue.

"...I didn't think you would mind..." His voice was full of regret. "But I can't really hang out with both of you, and well... Rose is something else." He had a dreamy look on his face for a moment, and my eyes filled with tears.

I couldn't believe the disappointment I felt after he said those words. He liked Rose! Not me! I wanted to break down and cry, but I couldn't. I didn't- couldn't- believe what I had heard.

Why was I so affected by it? Was I in _love_ with Scorpius? I didn't think so, but it made me wonder.

Scorpius must have noticed my silence, for he began to speak again. "Listen, Lily. I really like hanging out with you, and I'm sorry I've been neglecting you for a while." What was he trying to say? That he didn't have time for me anymore now that he had _Rose_?

"...So I'm going to make a really big effort to be with you again." Scorpius seemed satisfied with this, but I wasn't. I remained silent, staring at him. "I mean, you're my best friend, but Rose is more than a friend..."

Did he have to rub it in? I already understand you like her. My irritation grew as Rose herself came prancing down the hall.

"Scorp!" she cried, running up to him.

"Thanks for the offer, Scorpius, but I'm sure you have your hands full already." My voice was hollow as I cut across my cousin's sugary flirt. I didn't want to guilt him into hanging out with me.

Scorpius looked slightly hurt. "Lily, I do like hanging out with you..." he began, but his voice was cut off by a pouting look from Rose.

"You're ignoring me!" Rose accused him, crossing her arms over her chest.

Scorpius grinned as he saw Rose's reaction. "No I'm not!" he exclaimed. "How could I?"

I had seen enough. "Well I'll see you later, Scorpius." With that, I bolted, leaving Scorpius alone with _her_.


	8. Chapter 8

It was snowing. I watched the freezing flakes fall from underneath a stony overhang in the castle. Snow always inspired me, and as this was one of the only snowstorms this winter, it rose my spirits. I watched, smiling, as the white grounds got piled up higher and higher by it.

I was sitting down, leaning against the wall, notebook in lap. The scene where Scorpius had told me the truth kept playing over and over again in my head, and now I could remember every single word he had said that day.

_"But I can't hang out with both of you, and well...Rose is something else." _His words echoed through my head, and I sighed, feeling misery wash over me like a wave. _Was I of so little importance for him to not even have noticed that I was falling in love with him?_ I sighed, and closed my book with a snap. Wasfalling in love with him. Not anymore; he had broken my heart, and left me bleeding.

"Are you doing homework?" I jumped- I believed everyone was still at class.

"N-no," I stuttered, glancing back. Neil stood towering over me, making me feel intimidated. "I was..writing."

He didn't question this, to my relief. "You weren't in class," he observed.

I shook my head. "No," I agreed softly. "I was...busy..." _That's no excuse for ditching class! _I felt slightly ashamed; this was the first time I had ever not gone to class.

Neil grinned. "You didn't miss much," he mused. "Professor Binns was just droning on about some war..."

I laughed tentatively. "I'll go ask him later to give me a brief review," I said. Missing one History of Magic class wouldn't kill me...

We were silent for a while. Then he broke the silence. "How come you don't hang out with Scorpius anymore?" he asked. There was no jealousy in his voice; just genuine curiosity.

"He's too busy with _Rose_ to care about anyone else," I said bitterly.

Neil glanced down at me, his eyes narrowing slightly. "I thought you got along with your cousin," His voice was full of confusion.

I was silent for a moment. "It's complicated," I said slowly. Not really wanting to get farther into this conversation, I changed the subject.

"Is your mother really famous in the wizarding world too, even though she writes muggle books?" I asked politely.

Neil looked confused. "What?"

I shrunk down towards the ground. His mother wasn't Jane Griffith? "You're..you're not Jane Griffith's son...? I asked lamely.

He laughed. "Yes, I am...do you read any of her books?"

I nodded vigorously. "Yes!" I exclaimed, a little too eagerly. "They're _fantastic_."

He laughed again. "I've never read any myself, but I heard they got good reviews."

I sighed. "Her writing is so amazing, and so original," I breathed; she was my favorite author ever.

Neil smiled. He opened his mouth to say something more, his voice was cut off by shock. "Hey- is that Scorpius?" He asked suddenly, walking forward to squint out into the snow.

I hastily stuffed my notebook into my bag, and stood quietly next to Neil. I looked out into the snowy landscape, and my mouth fell open.

Rose and Scorpius were standing close together, kissing passionately.

I felt my eyes well up with tears.

"I didn't know they were together!" Neil exclaimed, watching the two with fascination.

I looked down at my feet so that he wouldn't see that I was crying. How could Scorpius do this? "I... I didn't know either." My voice shook slightly.

He glanced over at me, and to my regret, he noticed that I was crying. "Hey, Lily! What's wrong?" His voice was gentle as he tried to calm me down.

It didn't work. The tears silently streamed down my cheek, burning slightly. "Nothing," I tried to say, but my voice came out contorted.

Suddenly realization dawned on Neil, and his eyes widened. "You- you like Scorpius?" he asked incredibly.

I shook my head. The anguish in his voice was too much to bear.

Neil took a step away from me. "I didn't know," he murmured. "I'm sorry, Lily."

He shouldn't have been trying to comfort me! I didn't deserve anyone's comfort. I turned away, hastily wiping my eyes to stop the flow. "It's not your fault." My voice was muffled.

Neil was silent for a moment. A giggle sounded close by, and I looked up sharply. To my horror, Scorpius and Rose were coming our way. She was skipping next to him, their hands intertwined.

And I, the coward, fled. I ran towards the castle, entering at a quick pace. They hadn't seen me, to my relief, and I slowed my pace until I was sure that they wouldn't be able to find me.

I collapsed onto the floor, sitting quietly by myself. I didn't cry this time, just sat, lost in thought. Inside, I felt as though I was crying, but surprisingly it wasn't because of what I had just seen.

I had pushed Neil to the side, not caring how I had made him feel. What kind of a person _was_ I?

Neil didn't try to follow me, though I wish he would have.

** Happy Valentines Day! Sorry for a short chapter, and sorry that on the 'love day' I made such depression in this fic ;P**

** Anyway, I'll put a new chapter up soon!**

**~Cloudsong~**


	9. Chapter 9

Neil was avoiding me. I couldn't find him anywhere; in the common room, the grounds, or in the Great Hall. It was two days after Neil figured out that I was in love with Scorpius, and the two days happened to be the weekend. No class; it started tomorrow.

My spirits were surprisingly low those two days, and I didn't linger around the common room, with the exceptions of trying to find Neil. I didn't know exactly what I would say to him if I did find him, but I just felt that I was supposed to sought him out.

I paced up and down the snowy grounds, with my feather cloak and scarf on. My mind was whirling. _Did I still like Scorpius? Do I like Neil? _I breathed out agitatedly, and watched my breath come out in a cloud in front of me. _Too much drama! _I dug my shoe into the snow, a tear coursing down my cheek. I felt worthless; Neil probably didn't like me, and Scorpius obviously didn't like me, since he was with Rose now.

No one approached me as I was alone out in the snow, and it made me cry harder. Was I so unlikable? When I felt myself presentable, I walked slowly and deliberately into the castle again, my feet dragging with every step.

The great Hall was plastered with hearts, and there were floating red swirls dancing around just out of reach. With a shock I realized it was Valentines Day.

There were couples hugging each other wherever I looked, and it made me want to sink into the ground.

It wasn't that I was ashamed of not having a boyfriend- it was the fact that I didn't even have _friends_ to share a holiday with, and the fact that I ruined any chances I had of being friends with Neil.

I sat down quietly at the edge of the table, glad to find a place that was deserted. Quickly I finished my meal, not raising my head to look around at anyone. My timidity was back.

As I was finishing eating, I saw a flyer lying on the floor. It was crinkled up, and stepped on in several places, but it was enough to draw my attention. I got up and kneeled down on the floor, picking it up hastily.

I had seen the flyer design in other places such as bulletin boards, but I hadn't bothered to even read it. This time I read it quickly.

**'Writing Contest', **it said in bold letters at the top. My eyes widened with interest, and I read on.

'**Submit your creative writing to a teacher! Please note that your composition must be at least ten thousand words, and the writing cannot have been taken by someone else. Winner gets their book published, along with a five-thousand galleon prize! Don't miss your chance- the deadline is February sixteenth!'**

By the end of it, I was very intrigued. _A writing contest?_ I didn't know whether or not to enter; suppose they made fun of my book? What if they put it up for everyone to ridicule?

But what if they liked it? My book would be published, and I would get the prize money. I wasn't interested very much in the money, but it seemed very compelling.

With my spirits slightly higher, I stuffed the paper into my bag, careful to not wrinkle it further. Quickly I walked out of the Great Hall, and went straight to my bedroom.

**~*~***

I felt very nervous as I lingered after Transfiguration class. My hands were sweaty, and I nervously wiped them on my robes, and walked timidly up to McGonagle.

She looked up as I approached. "What is it, Lily?" she asked in a polite voice.

I couldn't find my voice. "I- I..well..." I stuttered, trembling slightly.

"Good gracious, child, are you feeling all right?" She tipped her glasses off of her nose, and narrowed her eyes at me.

That didn't help, and I swallowed hard. "I.. I'd like to enter the writing contest." I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping she wouldn't laugh.

She didn't, just nodded. "Oh, okay. Do you have your book here? The deadline is tomorrow."

I nodded, and pulled out my notebook from my bag. "Here..." My voice trailed off as I handed it to her gingerly. "Would you mind telling me when they'll decide who wins?"

She took my notebook, and opened it, reading the title. "What? Oh... I'm not sure, probably next week.." She looked up at me. "The Sea of Hope?" she read.

I looked down, my cheeks turning pink. Was she mocking me?

"It's an intriguing title." Her voice was full of curiosity. "I look forward to reading it." She snapped the book close again, and put it into a drawer.

I nodded, and backed away. My heart ached as I left my notebook behind. "Could...could you tell me when you're done...so that I could get my notebook back...?" I asked quietly.

She nodded. "Yes, I'll return it as soon as possible." She bent her head over her correction papers. "You may go,MissPotter."

I nodded tentatively, and walked swiftly towards the door.

**Won't be updating for about two or three days... I'm going on a trip.**


	10. Chapter 10

I wasn't in contact with anyone for a week. After a few days I had quit trying to find Neil, because he obviously didn't want anything to do with me anymore. The idea of being alone didn't bother me anymore; no one liked me, so why should I pretend they did?

Scorpius and Rose's relationship was going very well, and I won't lie- I wasn't very pleased about it. My cousin never wasted the opportunity to rub it in my face in the most unpleasant manners; kissing him in front of me... holding his hand when I walked around the corner... It annoyed me to no end, but what was I to do? Scorpius didn't even try to talk to me anymore, and I was getting over him.

My main trouble was that McGonagle had not returned my notebook that contained my novel. I missed it terribly, and most of all, I was nervous as to what she would say about it. Had I won the contest? What if she just read one page before throwing it back into her drawer, thinking it wasn't worthy of being in this contest? My mind swirled as I thought up more and more disasters that could happen.

My troubled thoughts were cut up abruptly as I fell onto the ground, hitting my chin on the cold stone. In blinding pain, I attempted to look around and see what I had tripped on. I had tripped on a boy, who was sprawled out on the ground, reading a book.

With much pain, I got up, supporting my now-bleeding chin. He got up quickly as well, and he looked at me with shocked eyes. "Are you okay?" Neil asked, looking at my chin.

"I'm fine," I gasped, removing my hand from my injury. It was full of blood, and a drop fell down onto the stone, staining it red. "I just need to go to the Hospital Wing.."

Neil stuffed a hand into his pocket, and retrieved a bandage. "Here- let me help a little... you don't want it to get infected." I didn't have the strength to fight back, and he dabbed at my chin gingerly, making it sting.

We began walking towards the end of the hall, where the hospital wing was. My chin throbbed, and I was developing a horrible headache. The bandage that Neil had put on my injury had helped a little... at first. It was small, so the blood soaked through, dripping onto my shirt, ruining it. I felt a tear burning on my chin, as I supported my arm to my chest. It had been injured as well during the fall, and I hoped it wasn't broken.

Neil silently walked at my side, looking straight ahead. I didn't dare try to strike up conversation; he was probably still disappointed that I liked Scorpius. Silently I shook my head. _But who do I like? Definitely not Scorpius, that's for sure._

We walked for awhile, as the hospital wing was very far away from where I had fallen. I cried silently, feeling like a useless coward. He didn't notice my tears, and if he did, he probably wouldn't care.

Then suddenly, Neil stopped walking, and I bumped into him accidently. Quickly I took a step away, feeling embarrassment at my lack of ordination. "Sorry," I muttered.

He glanced over at me. "Lily, I wanted to talk to you..." He began, his cheeks flushing a slight red color. "Look, you remember last week, when we saw Scorpius and Rose...?"

I nodded, feeling pain in my chin as it continued to drip slowly and thickly. "Yes," I whispered. "What about it?"

He hesitated again. "Look- I didn't mean it as it came out- I mean..." His voice trailed off. "It probably seemed like... you know, like I liked you..." I blushed slightly, but he didn't see.

He refused to meet my gaze, much to my relief. I didn't want him to see me in the shape I was. "I was just- shocked- you know? I don't really like you..." He seemed as if he was trying to convince himself of this.

Why did I feel so disappointed? My heart sank. _Why? _"Oh... I know that, Neil, don't worry about it..."

He nodded curtly, and looked over at me, seeing how bloody my chin was. "That looks bad," he said, his voice full of sympathy. "C'mon, lets go." He began to walk again, and I followed, keeping next to him.

Why, _why_ did I ever imagine that I actually had a chance with him? He didn't think of me like that.

_Nobody would want anything to do with someone as anti-social as I. _The truth hit me like a blow.

Madam Pomfrey fixed my chin up quickly, clucking silently to herself. "How did this happen?" she asked sternly, gazing down at me, her eyes focusing on my bloody chin.

"I... I fell," I replied softly, glancing over at Neil, who was hovering a few inches away, his eyes wide. Why did he bother staying? "You can leave, Neil... Thanks for bringing me here."

Neil shook his head. "I'll stay," he said, smiling slightly. "That's what friends are for, isn't it?"

_Friends. _The word gave me hope. He thought of me as a friend? I smiled weakly again. "Thanks."

The healer bustled around, mumbling to herself about this and that, while preparing a paste of some kind to put onto my wound. Neil watched her with interest, and I wondered for a moment why this interested him that much. Madam Pomfrey returned, and dabbed at my chin lightly at my chin, making it sting, then feel very cold. I touched it gingerly after she had pointed her wand at it, making the skin grow back. "Anything else?" she asked, crossing her arms, twiddling her wand in her hand as she watched us.

I opened my mouth to reply, but Neil beat me to it. "I think she hurt her arm, too," he piped up, pointing. I nodded. "Yes," I agreed. "It hurts a lot...." I had experienced broken bones before, but this wasn't the same experience. _Perhaps it's just strained, _I thought absentmindedly to myself.

She held out her hand, slowly moving my arm away from my chest, where I had it tightly pressed against. I flinched, biting my lip in pain. The pain was excruciating.

She studied it for a moment, asking me to move my fingers, which I obliged to.

"I think it's just badly bruised," Neil said suddenly, studying my arm too. I glanced over at him, surprised. How did he know what was wrong?

Madam Pomfrey was surprised as well. "I think that you're right, boy..." she muttered, going back to her desk, pulling out a bottle of anti-bruise potion. "How did you know?"

Neil shrugged. "I have a slight interest in healing as a career path.... My dad's a doctor, except he doesn't have the same treatments as you..." His voice trailed off. "They're muggles." He glanced over at me. "You would have gotten stitches in that cut," he said, smiling wryly as he pointed at his own chin.

I was confused. "Stitches?" I repeated. It was a new word to me, as they did not use them in the wizarding world.

He nodded. "It's when they sew the wound up..."

Madam Pomfrey poured out a bit of the potion into a goblet, listening with interest. She handed it to me, and I took it with the other hand gingerly. "Shall I drink it?" I asked quietly. The smell wafting from it wasn't very appetizing. In fact, it smelled like a barn...

She nodded curtly. "Of course, silly girl!" she snapped, crossing her arms again. "And mind do it quickly, before the effect wears off."

I blinked, then put the goblet to my lips, draining it in a few seconds. Coughing slightly, I handed it back to her, and she accept it, muttering under her breath.

My arm was feeling slightly better; less painful. "Thanks," I said, smiling at her. "Can I go?"

She nodded. "I don't see why not.." Her voice trailed off. "Just don't go running around and injure it again," she warned.

"I won't," I promised, getting up from my chair. Neil smiled.

"Feel better?" he asked brightly. I nodded. "Yes."

The healer went back to her desk, pulling out a folder and reading it. We took this as a cue to get out, and we left quickly, not wanting to dawdle.

As we walked down the corridors, I glanced over at him. "I didn't know your father was a doctor," I mused.

He shrugged, and smiled slightly. "Yeah... when I was a kid, a similar thing happened to me that happened to you just now."

I blinked. "Did you have to get... stitches?" I hoped I had said the word correctly.

He nodded, and grimaced slightly. "They hurt a lot." He shook his head sadly. "My dad gave them to me, and I got very angry with him...Didn't talk to him for weeks." He laughed at the memory. "But I forgave him after he explained that they had been for my own good."

I laughed. "How old were you when that happened?"

Neil looked thoughtful. "I believe I was six," he said slowly. "That was way before I figured out I was a wizard." He glanced around, scratching the back of his head. "Hey, I was wondering... next week is Hogsmeade.." His voice trailed off. "Want to come with me and my friends? It'd be fun!"

I hesitated. "Would your friends mind?" I asked curiously.

He shook his head solemnly. "Not at all- in fact, I think that they'd love to have another person with us."

I thought it carefully over. Was it wise to go? "I...." My voice trailed off. "Sure." I felt surprised myself that I had accepted, but now that my choice was made, I would stick with it.

His eyes lit up. "Really? Great!" He grinned. "You won't regret- I promise. We'll have great fun."

My insides squirmed; I felt nervous. Going with a group of people to Hogsmeade? I swallowed. "I'm sure we will." I was full of a mixture of excitement and nerves at the thought of it.

**I apologize sincerely for the long wait. :P I've been quite busy, and I was very discouraged at some mean reviews I received on the last chapter.**

** Now that I am writing an author's note, I would like to state my opinion about those negative reviews I receive. My character Lily, is weak. She IS weak now, and I would like to ask all of you who hate her to stop reading this fic. If you do not like her as a character, do not EVER review this fic again. I apologize if that sounds rude, but I am getting fed up with people who hate this fic because of how I portrayed the characters. She is my character, and by saying that you don't like her, that is just stating your opinion. If you see her in a different way, that's fine. Write your own fic, and make her how YOU want her to be. **

** The reviews I receive just discourage me, and if you took the trouble to review the fic, you probably want new chapters.**

** So I ask myself... if they like the fic enough to review it, why make it a bad review? It just makes ME not want to write the fic.**

** To those who write positive reviews, I'd like to say thank-you. Thank you so much for your support, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter.**

**~Cloudsong**


	11. Chapter 11

The day which I was to go to Hogsmeade came too soon. I awoke that day much earlier than I usually did, having not slept well. For a moment I stayed where I was, sitting up in my bed, staring at the room that contained my sleeping dorm-mates. _I can't go to Hogsmeade with them! What if they think I'm stupid? _I silently got up and dressed, concluding I wasn't going to be able to sleep.

The Great Hall was deserted; most of the students were asleep, giving that it was Saturday. Most everyone slept in on weekends, even me, usually. But today was different.

Since I was unable to get breakfast, I went out onto the grounds, feeling weak with nerves. My stomach was turning, and I felt as though I was going to throw up. _What's the matter with you? You've been with people before. _Somehow I knew it was different; when I was with Scorpius, I knew him. _I'll be with people I don't know today.... I hope they're not dreading it as much as I am._

Why had I accepted the invitation? Why hadn't I turned him down like any sane person would have done? I shook my head sadly, leaning up against a tree as I watched the sun rise above the lake.

Sunrise was one of the times I liked the most. It was the beginning of a day; the beginning of a new life... It was as if the whole day was created in that one moment, when the sun rose overhead and warmed the earth...

I sat down underneath a weeping willow tree, and drew a circle in the earth, thinking of Scorpius. Had I even crossed his mind since he got together with Rose? I didn't think so, and I pushed the thought away. _Get over it Lily, he'll always look at you as only a friend. _This thought would have bothered me more if it had come when he had broken my heart, but now it didn't. As much.

_What if Neil's friends don't like me? Would he listen to their opinions and stop wanting to hang out with me? _I felt my stomach do a summer-salt. I wouldn't be able to lose Neil again.

I felt myself thinking about my brother, James. I could imagine what he would say if he knew what I was thinking about; _'Well, if things don't work out, you can always drop-out of school and become a hobo.' _I smiled slightly. James always liked a good laugh, and I missed talking to him slightly. James had his own problems though, an I didn't want to bother him with mine. As the sun came up, I began to hear sounds around the school; windows opening... faint talking in the distance... They were beginning to wake up.

I was supposed to meet up with Neil and his friends at noon. '_I'll meet you outside of the common room, and we'll go meet my friends in Hogsmeade,_' he had said. His friends were going ahead, to buy some 'boring' stuff, according to Neil. A faint smile played on my face as I thought about him again.

As I had seen, Neil had three friends that he would hang out with. I didn't know any of their names, but I recognized their faces, and would be able to point them out in a crowd. They were all boys like him, and good-looking. They were popular, and most of them got good grades. I didn't have much hope of fitting in.

I was slightly looking forward to it...; Neil would be there, and I was finding myself loving being in his company.

When I thought it was late enough for them to be serving breakfast, I got up and walked slowly towards the castle. The halls were full of other students, laughing, joking to themselves. I felt a slight twinge of loneliness as I walked into the bright Great Hall. Silently I sat down at my usual place at the edge of the Gryffindor table, eating slowly. Neil and his friends weren't anywhere to be seen, and I suspected they were still asleep.

After I finished eating, I got up and returned to my dormitory to retrieve my notebook. My dorm-mates were up and about already, talking animatedly to themselves about the day ahead, and they ignored me like usual. It didn't bother me, as I hastily picked up my bag and headed towards the library.

The library was deserted, except for a few students here and there reading and studying. I took a comfortable chair in front of a window, and put my notebook on my lap, beginning to write.

I had a very enjoyable time writing, and before I knew it, it was 12:00; lunchtime. My insides lurched; I was to meet Neil and his friends right after lunch. _This was too soon! I'm not ready!_

Ignoring my nerves, I walked as confidently as I could towards the Great Hall, looking up and down the table. They were serving shepherd's pie today, and I sat down, picking at it. I felt too nervous to eat.

Neil and his friends were on the end side of the table, and they didn't see me. They were all crowding around Neil, as he read something from the paper aloud. I wondered briefly what it was, but pushed the thought away. _It probably has nothing to do with me._

After I finished, I tentatively walked out of the Great Hall, sitting down on the stairwell. I saw Neil's friends leave soon after, and I knew they were heading off to Hogsmeade. My breathing quickened; Neil would be coming out soon.

My suspicions were confirmed as Neil himself walked out, looking around. He spotted me, and walked up, smiling slightly. "What's up?"

His smile was contagious. "Nothing, you?" was my pathetic response.

Neil shrugged. "Are you ready to go to Hogsmeade?" He sounded eager.

I nodded, and stood up. "Yes!" I said, trying to put my timid streak to the side. I wanted him to know how excited I was.

His eyes brightened at my slight enthusiasm, and he yawned. "Lets go, then!" He began to walk towards the door, and I followed, keeping pace with him.

We silently walked together for awhile, until I couldn't stand the silence anymore. _This is probably one of the only times I'll be alone with him! I'm not going to be timid like I always am. _"Thanks for inviting me today, Neil... Are you sure your friends won't mind?" I shot a side-glance at him.

He smiled. "You're welcome," he laughed. "And what do you mean- will they mind? They're looking forward to it!"

I was confused. "W-why?" I asked quietly.

Neil grinned, and nudged my arm. "Are you kidding Lily? Everyone wants to get to know you!"

I furrowed my eye-brows. "Why?" I repeated the same question, unable to ask anything else. Why would they want to get to know _me_?

Neil glanced over at me, and stopped walking. "You... you didn't hear?" he asked in confusion.

"Hear about what?" I asked, stopping as well. I looked down at my feet, feeling self-conscious as he looked at me.

"You didn't hear that you won the writing contest?" Neil asked slowly, his eyes narrowing slightly.

My heart skipped a beat. "What?" I whispered. _I had won? Why had no one told me about it? Did everyone know except me? _"I- I did?"

Neil nodded. "You didn't see your story in the Daily Prophecy?" He looked shocked that I didn't know.

"I don't read the Daily Prophecy," I admitted. I remembered that one of the parts of winning was that your story would get published in the wizarding newspaper. My heart was beating very fast, and I wondered if he could hear it too.

Neil scratched the back of his head. "It was a great story," he congratulated me. "I was amazed when I saw it this moment- I thought to myself, _could this really be by Lily Potter_? It was _fantastic_!"

I blushed. "Thanks," I said, smiling. "I'm glad you liked it." His praise made my heart skip a beat. "But- why didn't McGonagle tell me?"

Neil blinked, beginning to walk again. I followed. "Yesterday when I was at Transfiguration, she asked where you were..." His voice trailed off.

"I couldn't go to class yesterday... I was sick." It was true; I had had a migraine, and had stayed in bed all day long.

Neil blinked. "Why? What was wrong?" He seemed worried.

"I had a migraine..." I muttered.

Neil blinked sympathetically. "That sucks," he murmured. "When McGonagle saw you weren't here, she just continued with the class. She probably would have told you then."

I nodded. "Oh," I said silently. A group of people walked by, some waving and smiling at me. I made myself as small as possible, walking next to me.

Neil laughed at my reaction. "See? You're practically famous now! Everyone will want to hang out with you now."

Even Scorpius? I blinked, not sure what to say. I wasn't sure if I even _wanted _to be popular... "I don't want to be famous..." I muttered, wishing I could have written the story under an anonymous name.

Neil smiled. We were reaching the gates of Hogsmeade, and he opened them, letting me walk through. I smiled, and did so. "Where are we meeting your friends?" I asked curiously.

"Outside of the Three Broomsticks," Neil replied. "I didn't think you'd want to have people mobbing you in there."

I grimaced. "I don't really want this..." I muttered again. "Famous people don't have very good lives; people only like them because they're famous."

Neil glanced over at me. "_I _don't like you only because of that," he assured me. "I like you because you're _you_."

I smiled. "Thanks," I whispered. The Three Broomsticks was coming into view.

A few people walking down the street stared at me openly, making me feel very uncomfortable. I was glad when we came up to Neil's friend.

They were leaning against the wall of the bar, talking and laughing. Neil and I approached them, and they stopped talking, their eyes bright as they saw us.

"Hey Neil!" one exclaimed. He had blonde hair, blue eyes. I smiled slightly at them.

"Hi, Leo," Neil greeted, stretching. "This is Lily-" He was interrupted by the other two.

"She's the one who won the contest?"

"The one who was in the Daily Prophecy?" This boy had black hair, and very dark eyes. "I'm Jake, by the way, Lily. Nice to meet you."

I smiled at him, and he held out his hand, which I shook. "Nice to meet you," I said, smiling tentatively.

He let go of my hand, and poked the other boy which I didn't know's name. "This is Will."

Will smiled, waving. "Hey," he said. "I read your story- it was _sensational_!"

I blushed. "Thanks," I murmured, looking down at my feet. This special attention wasn't agreeing with me.

Neil cleared his throat. "Shall we go to the Hogs Head? It's not as crowded there." He made a face, looking in to the crowded bar in front of us. I laughed.

"Fine by me," I said eagerly, wanting to be somewhere where no one would know me.

Jake smiled, and dropped into step next to me. Neil took my other side, and Will went ahead, looking around. "Move out! Famous person here!"

Jake laughed, and prodded him. "Quit it," he laughed. "Lily's trying to be incognito here."

I laughed slightly. Neil's friends were funny.

"Hey- do you think we'll get in the newspaper too, since we're with her?" Will asked curiously, walking backwards to face us.

I shook my head. "I'm not famous," I protested. "My story was just in the newspaper."

Neil grinned. "Don't be modest, Lily. Your story was amazing, and you know it." His eyes were full of laughter, and he opened the door, holding it open for everyone to go in.

I liked being around them. They were fun, and they seemed to _like_ me. It was an odd sensation.

The bar was almost deserted, except for a few students, who were all talking with their heads bent. We took the table next to the counter.

"So- four butterbeers?" Neil asked, glancing over at us. "I'll pay."

I felt slightly uncomfortable. "I can pay, if you want."

He shook his head. "Nah! I like paying." He went over to the bar, and returned soon after with four bottles clenched in his hands. He passed them around to us.

I took one, and unscrewed the bottle cap. Will was having problems with his, and he kept twisting, trying to fix it. I smiled slightly. "Want me to help?" I offered.

He looked sheepish. "Imagine- I'm defeated by a bottle!" He handed it over to me, and I unscrewed it, handing it back to him.

I smiled, getting caught into conversation with them. I found myself enjoying the evening very much.

**Author's Note:**

**Today i received a pretty nasty anonymous review. I deleted it, and I am thinking about disabling anonymous reviews. There are some that write bad reviews anonymously, probably because they are too cowardly to write it on their REAL account. **

** To those who like this fic, again, thanks for reading/reviewing!**

** I asked my dad, because the mean reviews were bothering me, and he said that for everything anyone tries doing, there will always be someone who will not like it. **

** I'm going to update from now on, every monday. I have some free time in the mornings then, and I will be trying to get a new chapter up. :)**

**Thanks again to those NICE reviewers. **

**~Cloudsong**


	12. Rain Walker

A thunder clap echoed around Hogwarts, making our class go silent. I was sitting in Transfiguration class next to Neil and his friends, and it was raining heavily outside.

Since last week, when we had gone to Hogsmeade together, my fame had grown even more. People stopped me wherever I was to congratulate me, and it made me feel good to be appreciated. It was a new sensation, but I knew I liked it.

My confidence had grown slightly too, now that I was hanging out with Neil. He made me realize that no matter what's wrong with you, you can always have friends. I was getting really fond of them, and they seemed to like me too.

Scorpius had barely even passed through my mind, and he was one of the only people who had not congratulated me. It didn't bother me much at first, but after I thought about it for awhile, it began to really haunt me. Did he not like my story? Had he even read it? Or was he just too busy with Rose to even read the paper anymore?

I sighed, propping my head up against my hands. As much as I liked Neil and his friends, I still missed him. _Why does he mean so much to me? We were only friends for one semester! _

Neil nudged my arm, and pointed up at McGonagle. I nodded, and continued taking notes. Class was almost over, but if I missed out on one little detail, I would be unable to complete my homework.

Class dragged on, but the rain made it more bearable. Rain always made things more bearable to me, though I am not sure why. I glanced over at Jake and Will, who were sitting in front of us, and stifled a laugh. They were having a whispered argument on whose paper airplane would fly better.

"Mine totally will!" Jake hissed, his voice coming out louder than he probably thought.

"No, mine has better wing traction," Will argued, his voice low. "Want to see?"

Neil shook his head, prodding Will in the back. "Wait till after class- McGonagle would be mad if she saw you playing with airplanes."

I nodded. "You could get detention," I added, my voice barely audible.

Will muttered something under his breath, and stuffed his creation into his bag as the bell rang. Weren't they too old to be playing with paper airplanes? I laughed quietly, putting my book into my own bag. I glanced over at the clock; 12 o'clock.

"Lets go to the grounds," I suggested.

Neil blinked in confusion. "Are you kidding? It's raining out there!"

I laughed. "No way!" Will exclaimed sarcastically, looking out the window. "We'd get wet... you really sure about this, Lily?"

I shrugged. "I could go alone- I like the rain." It was true; I had always loved walking in the rain since a young age.

Neil looked over at Jake and Will, seeing their scowls. "I'll go with you," he offered.

I grinned. "Really? That would be really nice of you." I'd love the company.

Neil smiled too, and waved at his friends. "We'll meet you in the Great Hall in half an hour or so." They nodded, and began to walk towards the Great Hall, Will throwing his airplane. It flew for a little bit, then fell with a crash. I couldn't help but smile as Will grumbled, and stuffed it in his bag as Jake roared with laughter.

We walked silently through the halls, smiling and saying 'hello's to people we knew. Most of them smiled and waved.

As we were reaching the door to outside, we saw that it was blocked by a group of sixths year girls, their eyes full of anger as they spied us.

I instantly felt intimidated. _Why do they look like they hate me? _I had never even _seen_ them before, and they were glaring at me as if they wished I would drop dead.

Neil noticed their anger too, and he walked up to them, looking the leader in the eye. "We'd like to get by," he said in a strong voice.

I, the coward, stayed quiet. My hear was beating loudly and quickly, and my breathing was shallow.

The edges of the girl's lips curled into a smirk. "I don't think so," she said primly. "We never got to tell _Lily_ how _wonderful_ her story was yet."

I gulped. Their tone wasn't nice.

Neil glared at her. "Back off, _Irene_," he hissed, his voice full of anger.

Irene laughed out loud. "Oh I'm so _scared_! A puny little author, and her wimpy boyfriend!"

I glared at her. "He's not my boyfriend- and- and-" I couldn't express myself, and I felt my newly-born confidence go down the drain.

"And-and and!" Irene imitated, adding scared antics. I blushed, looking down at my feet.

Neil clenched his hands into fists. "Let us by, or you'll be sorry," he threatened. I didn't want him to fight. "Maybe we should go another way," I whispered to him. He shook his head. "No, Lily- you can't be pushed around by bullies." He sounded angry.

Irene took out her wand. "You want a fight?" she breathed. "I'll give you one."

Neil took out his own wand, and I bit my lip. "What do you want from us?" I asked Irene angrily, my voice quiet.

Irene smirked. "I want you to stop thinking you're _so great_ because your stupid story won that contest." I blinked.

Neil raised an eyebrow. "You entered, did you, Brown?" he asked boldly. "And you're mad because your story didn't win?"

Irene blushed. "No!" she snapped. "I just.. didn't like her story."

"Suuuure," Neil smirked. "Well if that's all, you'll let us by."

Irene angrily pointed his wand at me. "No," she said simply.

No? I swallowed. Were they going to bully us?

Irene's friends were glaring at us, ready to fight if they needed to. Why did they care so much about me to be bullying us? "We just want to insult Lily's story a bit before we let you both go." Her smile widened. I shivered inwardly.

"It's not your place to do that..." My voice trailed off. "Does this mean so much to you that you're going to waste your time talking to us?" I tried to get them to let us go, though I had little hope it would work.

Irene shrugged. "What can I say- it's break time- I have nothing better to do." She took out a crumpled piece of newspaper, and cleared her throat. "`_It was dark- the clouds covered to moon, casting a ghostly shadow over the forest'_," she read mockingly. "Oh, how _eery_!" she sneered.

Neil attempted to grab the paper out of her hands, but she pulled it out of her grasp. "Just a second- I'm not done yet," she said slowly.

She held the paper in front of her again. "_A lone girl sat in a small clearing, her hair billowing around in the wind_... This is awful- how could it have won?"

I felt tears in my eyes. "Stop," I said suddenly, my voice quiet. "Please stop."

Neil snatched the paper from her and ripped it up, throwing it into Irene's face. "Now you can't read it," he hissed, his face inches from hers. "Now scram before I really _hurt_ you." He was livid with anger.

Irene laughed out loud. "How scary!" she exclaimed in mock fear. "I'm frightened out of my skin." She smirked. "But I'll leave you for _now_, as Lily the _coward_ is too scared for me to continue."

I glared at her. "I'm not a coward!" I snapped, my temper rising. "I'm-"

"-a scaredy-cat? Like that's a step up?" Irene flipped her hair, and nodded at her friends. They departed, leaving me there with Neil, me shaking with anger.

Neil touched my arm lightly. "Lily- are you okay?" he whispered, seeing my tears.

I nodded. "I'm fine." My voice shook, and without another word, I walked out of the castle, into the rain. I cried softly, glad that the rain was masking my tears.

Neil followed me, his eyes full of worry. "Lily- you didn't actually get offended by those trolls, did you?"

Offended? They had broken my spirit. I shook my head, looking up at him, my face stained with tears. "No," I whispered.

He sighed, and hugged me. I sobbed into my chest. "Their opinion isn't important," he whispered into my hair. I shivered at our closeness, but my tears continued to fall.

We were drenched, but I didn't mind. My hair was dripping with rain water, and he patted my back. "You don't always have to listen to what people say, Lily," he said quietly, pulling back and looking into my eyes.

I shook my head, wiping my eyes with my hand. "No- I..." My voice trailed off, and I finally realized how grateful I was for Neil's friendship. "Thank you," I whispered, leaning forward so that he could hear me through the loud rain.

He smiled slightly. "For what?" he asked weakly, his eyes not straying from mine.

I usually would feel intimidated by someone being so close, but now... Now it was different. "For standing by my side when I needed you most- for being my friend when no one else would."

"I would do anything for you, Lily," he whispered.

I felt my pulse in my throat, but I didn't pull away. He leaned forward slightly, and suddenly I felt trapped. I pulled back, taking a step back. Fresh tears streamed down my face. "No- Neil... You don't want this..."

He looked hurt. "How do you know what I want?" he asked in a pained voice. "I... I love you, Lily." His voice was barely a whisper. He looked down at the ground, his eyes dull with sorrow.

I breathed in sharply. _What did he mean? He didn't love me! _"No- Neil, you don't mean that..." What about our friendship? I hated myself for pushing him away- _I_ wanted this too.

Neil met my gaze. "Then say it, then," he whispered. "Say you don't love me, and I'll leave you alone."

I sobbed. "Neil I'm not right for you..." My voice trailed off, but I approached him again, unable to see him like this.

Neil looked down at me, and sighed. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"For what?" I asked quietly, putting my hand on his face. "For loving someone?"

Neil shook his head, not meeting my gaze. "For loving my friend."

"What's wrong with that?" I asked him quietly, removing my hand from him. "Neil- I love you too."

His eyes widened. "You... you do?" he whispered, his voice full of joy.

He made me smile. "Yes," I replied solemnly. "I always have." _Except for when I loved Scorpius, but that feeling is gone. _It was gone; Scorpius had never loved _me_, and I realized now, as I looked into Neil's eyes, that I had never really loved _him_.

"I always have too," Neil said, smiling. "I promise I won't make you cry- ever." Was he remembering the time when he had comforted me when I had figured out Scorpius was with my cousin?

I smiled, hugging him. "Thanks," I whispered over his shoulder. "I'll try not to do it to you either."

Neil pulled away, looking down at me. He leaned forward. Our lips met.

I had never felt so happy in my entire life.


	13. Chapter 13

I walked into the Great Hall later that day, holding hands with Neil. Some people stared, but most continued to mind their own business. I felt slightly uncomfortable, because I had never held hands with a boy before- especially in public. I pushed the feeling away, however; Neil couldn't see that I felt intimidated.

Will and Jake were sitting at the edge of the Gryffindor table, talking about something that we didn't hear. When we sat down next to them, Will raised an eyebrow at Neil. 'Together?' he mouthed to him, as if I wasn't there. I couldn't help but smile slightly; Will was always so sudden about things.

Neil rolled his eyes. "Yes," he replied, not seeming at all embarrassed, unlike me. I blushed as the two grinned, staring at us. They seemed to know about how Neil had liked be for a while. _How come I didn't suspect anything at all until today? _ I wondered, becoming absorbed in the table in front of me. I felt very shy all of a sudden.

I didn't say much throughout the whole meal, just listened to Neil and his friends talk about this and that. Neil seemed to sense my uncomfortable state, and he glanced over at me. "Are you all right?" he asked quietly, when Will and Jake had gone off to the other side of the table to get pudding that had 'rudely not been served on their side.'

I forced a smile. "Yes," I said. "It's just... weird, isn't it?"

He seemed slightly confused. "What is?" he asked.

I blushed. "I mean- you and I..." My voice was barely audible, and I could feel my face heat up.

"Oh." He seemed to understand, and he put his arm around me. "Sorry if I'm making this awkward for you- it is for me too..." His voice trailed off.

I liked the feeling of his arm around me. "We'll get used to it," I said brightly, feeling slightly more confident. Was I merely _borrowing_ the courage from him, or was I finally living up to the house I was placed in when I was just 11?

_'You are brave as a true Griffindor,' _the sorting hat had said. I had not understood what it meant; I believed myself the biggest coward in existence. But now- being next to Neil... it felt _different_.

Neil smiled. "Yeah," he replied.

Jake and Neil re-appeared, supporting big plates of pudding. "Want some?" Jake offered us genially.

"No thanks- there's already some right in front of us." Neil laughed, pointing at the same kind of desert that the two had gone to the other side of the table to find.

Will's mouth fell open, and he dropped his plate. It fell with a clatter, and pudding fell out everywhere, covering us all with it. It clung to our clothes, and Neil jumped up, his eyes narrowed. "Nice one," he said through gritted teeth.

Will's eyes widened. "Sorry," he muttered, attempting to clean up the mess with a napkin.

I helped too, getting down on my knees. Neil soon joined in, but the mess was rather large, as Will had gotten quite a lot of pudding. Finally we abandoned it, going up to Gryffindor tower to get changed into clothes that weren't full of pudding.

I wasn't angry about ruining my robes- I actually laughed. _The stain'll go away, _I thought optimistically. My spirits were much higher since I was with Neil.

As we approached the Gryffindor tower, laughing and joking, we saw a figure leaning up against the wall next to the portrait. He looked familiar, but I couldn't tell from such a distance. He was looking down at the floor, but I couldn't mistake the blonde hair I knew so well.

It was Scorpius. Neil narrowed his eyes when we came within earshot. "What's he doing here?" he asked me quietly.

I shook my head. "I don't know," I replied. My timid streak was playing up, and I pressed up against Neil, feeling like a coward. He didn't comment, just briefly kissed my forehead. I blushed, looking down.

Scorpius didn't look up at us until we were next to him. Jake took out his wand, ready to fight. "What are you doing here?" he demanded. "This is _Gryffindor's_ tower."

"Thank you for informing me of that," Scorpius said icily, fixing us with his gray stare. I suppressed the urge to shiver; his gaze was almost _dead_-looking. "I'd like to speak with Lily," he said quietly. "_If_ you don't mind." The last part was directed towards Neil.

Neil glared at him, taking out his own wand. "And if I _do_ mind?" he challenged, pointing it at Scorpius.

I put my hand on Neil's weapon, and lowered it. "Don't," I whispered to him, meeting his gaze for a moment. He breathed out sharply, but nodded curtly.

"We'll be waiting in the common room," he told me quietly, leaving without another word. I watched him and his friends leave. Only Jake looked back, his eyes narrowed as he shot one last glare at Scorpius.

Scorpius didn't notice. He was again looking down at the floor. I stood where I was, quietly waiting for him to speak.

He was silent for a long moment. When he looked up at me, his gray eyes were full of slight pain. "You're with him?" he asked quietly, staring into my eyes.

I felt myself inwardly shiver, but I forced myself to keep his gaze. "Yes," I replied quietly, looking away. "W-why?" I asked, my voice coming out quiet.

He shrugged, looking away too. "He's not right for you," he said suddenly, his voice quiet, but yet so much _power_.

I swallowed. "And why is that?" I asked, surprised myself at my sudden bravery.

Scorpius didn't answer. "I broke up with Rose," he said, as if this was a perfectly normal thing to say.

I felt my mouth drop open in shock. "Why?" I breathed, still unable to believe what I had heard.

"She was too controlling." He tapped his fingers on the wall. Seconds passed like minutes.

Why had he suddenly seen reason? I wondered how my cousin had reacted. I stayed silent, watching him from the corner of my eye.

"I suppose there was another reason for me to break up with her," he said slowly, looking up at me.

"What's that?" I asked in a flat voice.

He was again silent for a long while. "_You_."

I felt my stomach do a backflip, and I felt disappointment. _What do you mean, 'me'? I've like you for so long, and when I finally get over you, you decide to like me back? _I felt pain rush through me, and felt the sudden urge to run... To run to the Gryffindor tower... To hug Neil, and feel more reassured "W-what?" I whispered, standing my ground.

Scorpius sighed. "You," he repeated. "I broke up with her because I like _you_."

If this had happened only two months before, I would have felt happiness. Now I only felt regret.

"Do... do you like me too?" Scorpius asked hesitantly, trying to meet my gaze.

I avoided it, as I would have done a few months ago if this would have happened. I felt intimidated- scared. Scared of my feelings. _Why, oh why do you have to tell me this now, Scorpius? _I felt like falling to the ground, crying. I felt a lump in my throat, but I swallowed it, refusing to cry.

"Lily?" he whispered, still waiting for me to reply.

I struggled to keep on my feet. "Scorpius..." I began weakly, trembling. "I... I used to like you." My voice grew stronger, but I still felt scared. "But you've been ignoring me- been with Rose these past weeks..." My voice trailed off again. "Neil was there for me when you weren't." I met his gaze, and I felt as if his gray eyes would swallow me, they were so hypnotizing. "I'm with him now."

Scorpius sighed. "Lily, all this time- I've realized that this whole time, I've been in love with _you_." He hesitated. "I'm sorry for neglecting you."

It seemed to be the same thing he had said after he had gotten together with Rose. Had he been lying last time, when he had said he loved Rose?

"Scorpius... please don't make this harder than it is," I whispered, looking down. "We can be friends." I felt awful for saying the words that so many said when they were breaking someone's heart.

He sighed. "Do you know how awful that sounds, when I just told you the person I've liked for _so long_, that I love them?"

Guilt rushed through me. "I'm sorry," I whispered, taking another step back. I felt uncomfortable again.

Scorpius shook his head. "It's okay," he said sadly. "I... I shouldn't have told you at all." He turned his back to me. "I'll see you later," he said, not looking at me.

I watched him as he walked down the hall, his tall figure disappearing into the darkness.

Instantly I felt my eyes well up with tears. Why, why did they like me? I felt myself wishing that I was again my old timid self; the one who wouldn't have had these problems at all.

Instead of going into the Gryffindor tower as Neil had said to, I walked the opposite way that Scorpius had gone.

I found myself taking my usual path towards the grounds. It was twilight, and I sat down underneath my willow tree, watching the sunset. Silently I sighed, leaning my head up against the tree trunk. I wished for a moment that I could be at home; to tell my mother about my problems. She would have comforted me.

Neil would have too, and I wished he was here with me, as I hugged my knees to my chest, sobbing. The pudding that had been dropped on them during dinner was dried, and I picked at it idly, taking pieces off.

It had stopped raining, but the grass underneath me was still wet. My robes soon became soaking, but that didn't matter.

Nothing did. I wondered how my cousin would react to me when she saw me. Had Scorpius told her that he was breaking up with her because of me? I sighed.

A voice break through my thoughts. "Lily?"

I looked up, seeing Jake. He stepped through the leaves of the tree, his eyes full of confusion. "Hi, Jake," I said quietly, looking down at the ground again.

"What're you doing out here?" he asked me, leaning up against the tree trunk.

I shrugged, not wanting to talk about the conversation Scorpius and I had had. He didn't ask, either.

"Neil is really worried about you."

I blinked. How long had I been gone? "Where is he?" I asked warily, standing up.

"He's looking on the other sides of the grounds." He stretched. "You've been gone three hours; he thought Scorpius had done something to you."

He had? "Scorpius didn't do anything to me," I said quietly, squeezing my robe sleeves to rid them from the water that had collected from the wet ground.

Jake nodded. "I didn't think he would have," he said quickly. "I mean- Neil thought..." He trailed off, and blushed.

I could imagine what Neil thought. "It's nothing like that," I said hastily. Did he believe I was cheating on Neil for Scorpius?

He nodded. "I'll go tell Neil I found you," he said, turning away. "Should I tell him to come here?"

"No- wait," I called after him. "I have to go change." I looked down at my wet, pudding-stained robes.

He nodded again. "Then I'll just tell him you're okay... he'll kill me for not telling him where you are."

I smiled. "Thanks, Jake," I said. Though I really liked Neil, I didn't really want to talk to him right now. I felt too hurt.

Jake nodded hastily, and departed without another word.

I sighed, walking towards the castle.

**OoOoOo**

After I had changed into clean robes, I sat down on my bed, staying there for a long time. My thoughts were whirling- if I had rejected Neil, would I be with Scorpius now?

I sighed, resting my head on the wall. I couldn't imagine being with Scorpius.

The door of my dormitory opened, and I looked up, seeing Jessica, one of my room-mates come in. "Neil wants to know if you'll come down," she said, yawning. "He said he wants to tell you something."

Was he mad at me? I nodded. "I'll go down now," I said, getting up and walking to the door. Jessica merely shrugged, going over to her bed and sitting down with her homework.

I descended the stairs quietly. The common room was almost deserted. I didn't see Neil. For a moment I stayed on the stairs, looking around at the familiar faces of my house-mates.

Then I saw him, sitting next to the window, with Will next to him. I approached slowly, sitting down beside him. He looked up, smiling slightly. "Hey, Lily," he greeted me. His voice didn't contain the usual brightness. Instead, it was full of pain.

Will scatted, after smiling at me. I watched him go over to the other side of the common room, sitting in between a group of girls. Normally, I would have laughed, but now I just sat quietly.

"What did Scorpius say to you?" he asked finally.

I looked down at the floor. _I can't lie to him. _"He... he broke up with Rose."

Neil sighed, as if guessing what I would have said next. "He said he likes you, didn't he?" His voice was blank, and I suppressed an urge to scream. _This drama was so unnecessary! _

"Yes," I replied, looking up at his face.

He was silent, so I decided to speak up. "But I told him I didn't like him back." I saw his face lighten slightly.

"You did?" he asked, turning to face me. "Did... did you mean it?"

I nodded, though inside, I wasn't so sure. "Yes," I replied. "I like _you_, Neil."

He smiled slightly, but it wasn't the same smile I knew so well. Something was still bothering him.

"What's wrong?" I asked, his silence bothering me more than I'd have liked.

"Lily..." His voice trailed off. "If you like him, you don't have to be with me." His voice was full of regret, and my eyes widened. "I want you to be _happy_, and if being with him makes you happy, then I won't bother you anymore."

I didn't quite believe him, though it didn't quite matter. I didn't really think I'd be happy with Scorpius. "But I'm happy with you," I whispered, feeling slightly hurt. Was he trying to get rid of me?

He smiled slightly. "You are?" his voice was hopeful.

Again, I nodded, hugging him. "I am."

He kissed me, and I felt as if all of the worries I felt had vanished.

** This fic is almost finished! Just one more chapter and an epilogue, I believe. Thanks for all the reviews!**

**~Cloudsong**

**P.S. Please tell me who YOU'D like Lily to get together with! Neil or Scorpius? It could still go either way, and I'm trying to decide.**


	14. Chapter 14

I watched the grounds from my dormitory. They were teaming with life; students were laughing, joking. A few first years were playing tag. Sighing, I sat down on my bed. The conversation I had had with Scorpius was haunting me, and it hurt me to think that I had broken his heart.

_But I'm with Neil. _I swallowed. Neil was the one I loved.

A loud bang echoed through my room, and I jumped up. I heard yelling from the hallways, and I recognized the voice. It was Rose.

She slammed the door to my dormitory open, and stood there, shaking with anger. "You _slut_!" she screamed, closing it behind her with a _snap_.

My heart skipped a beat, and I took a step back. "What do you mean?" I asked warily. Had she figured out that Scorpius had dumped her for me?

"You stole my _boyfriend_!" She had tears in her eyes, and I wondered if they were from sadness or anger. Either way, I felt afraid.

"No, I didn't," I said through clenched teeth. "Neil is-"

She cut me off. "Not him," she snarled, taking a step towards me, her hands clenched into fists. "_Scorpius_."

I decided to play stupid. "I thought you were with him."

Rose's eyes flashed. "Don't pretend you don't know," she sneered. "He dumped _me_ for _you_, and he _told_ you."

I hesitated. _No point in denying it. _"But I didn't make him like me," I argued, surprised at my sudden bravery. "I-"

Again, she cut me off. "Shut _up_," she screamed. "Just save it, Lily. After I'm done with you, you're gonna wish you were never _born_."

Instead of running, I stood my ground. _Scorpius must really matter to her, if she's so angry. _"And what are you going to do?" I challenged, standing up for myself. "You can't hurt me."

"Watch me," she breathed, taking another step towards me.

I felt fear flash through me. Would she actually beat me up? "What will you gain by this?" I said hotly, trying to distract her.

"At least Scorpius won't be with you," Rose snapped.

"What? You're going to _kill_ me?" Feeling angry, I crossed my arms. "Okay, Rose, I'll say it loud and clear for you, since you didn't understand the first time. I don't like Scorpius. I'm with NEIL, and I'm _happy_ with him."

Rose stopped. "Why should you be happy when I'm not?" she growled suddenly. "If I lost the one I like, why shouldn't you too?" A wide smile came onto her face. "If I got Neil to like me, you'll see what it's like." She turned away.

_No! She couldn't have Neil too! _"Wait." My voice was quiet.

She turned to face me, her eyebrows raised. "What?" She sounded annoyed.

"Leave Neil out of this," I murmured. I couldn't- _wouldn't_ - let him get hurt too. "I'll... I'll do anything you want me to do, just leave him alone..."

Rose smirked. "Then break up with him."

My heart stopped for a moment. "Wh-what?" I couldn't do that! I felt anger and hatred surge through me. How could I ever have _liked_ this girl?

"You heard me." She crossed her arms. "You either break up with him, or I'll make him cheat on you."

I breathed out sharply. "Please, Rose..." I whispered. "You can't do this..."

Rose snorted. "Stop being a wimp," she snapped. "You're so _weak_," she taunted.

I flinched, feeling hurt.

"How could anyone _like_ you? I'll make Neil see reason." She slammed the door behind her, and I heard her twisted laughing as she faded away.

I burst into tears. _No! Neil would never like her!_ I wanted to run after her, but I knew... knew that she would overpower me; she was a stronger person than me.

No matter how brave I would try to be, I wouldn't- couldn't - ever win. Neil would get with her.

Then I stopped. Neil had liked me for so long... would he give me up for Rose, who was two years older than him? I wiped my eyes, and decided to go down to the common room. _I won't let her do this._

**OoOoO**

The common room was full of people, and I had to stand on tip-toes to look over the heads of the students. I didn't see Neil, or Rose. Sighing, I left the common room, assuming they were in the grounds.

They weren't. I looked under every tree, on every bench, but saw no one.

I felt my eyes well up into tears, and I found myself walking towards the Willow Tree. A slight breeze ruffled my hair, and I closed my eyes, leaning up against the tree trunk. I felt grateful for the wind, but my spirits were still low.

My tears fell steadily, but I didn't make a sound as I looked up into the hanging branches only feet inches above me.

Willow Trees were also known as crying trees, and I reflected on all of the times I had cried under the shelter of it. There were too many to count.

It began to sprinkle, but I didn't mind; not much water reached the inside of the tree; the leaves were thick.

"Lily?"

My head whipped up. Will was standing there. "Hey." My voice was dull. Had he come to break the news to me?

"What'cha doin'?" he asked, looking down at me.

"Contemplating the meaning of life," I joked, though I didn't laugh.

He did, however. "Where's Neil?" he asked, looking around.

I shrugged. "Haven't seen him," I said vaguely. My heart sank at the thought of him. He was so important to me, and I didn't think I could cope with the loss.

He shifted his weight from one foot to another. "I saw him talking with Rose," he said, his voice trailing off.

I didn't comment; the news didn't come as a shock. "Did you hear what they were saying?" I asked hopefully.

Will shook his head. "No. I caught the words 'Lily' and 'cheating'." He grinned suddenly. "I think they were talking about gardening."

I couldn't help but laugh; my name was a flower. "Did Neil seem happy to be talking to her?" I asked, hoping he wouldn't comment on my interest for the subject.

"He looked uncomfortable, but when I tried getting closer to eaves-drop, he told me to scram." He glanced around. "He was looking for you this morning."

He was? I felt guilty for not going down that morning.

We were silent for a while, until he decided to break the silence again.

"You can't imagine how happy he was when you said yes to him," he said suddenly, grinning at the memory. "He's liked you since first year."

I blinked. Now was my chance to ask Will why he had liked me. "_Why_ did he, though?" I asked casually, my heart racing.

Will shrugged. "He liked how you were detached; at first he thought you were pretty." He glanced down at me. "He got really mad when you became friends with Scorpius; ranted about it for weeks..."

I laughed, imagining it.

"Want to go up to the castle?" Will asked. "Then we can go ask Neil how his conversation with Rose went."

I nodded, and got up. The rain had stopped again, though dark gray clouds hung over us. "Sure," I said, patting my hands together to remove the dirt that had collected.

We walked together in silence. When we reached the inside of the castle, it started pouring again.

"Hey look- we were lucky!" Will exclaimed, running over to the window to look at the rain falling.

I followed, but I didn't match his smile; could Neil be at this moment thinking about a way to break up with me?

Will's smile faded, and he tipped his head to one side. "Lily- I don't think you should worry about Neil picking Rose over you."

How could he have guessed what I was thinking? "Why?" I asked quietly.

Will shrugged. "He never really liked Rose; always thought you were cooler." He paused. "Besides, Jake and I would rather he be with _you_."

I smiled slightly. "Really? Why?"

"Because you're one of our friends, and you and Neil seem right for each other..."

I grinned, and before I could stop myself, I hugged him. "Thanks, Will," I said, pulling away.

He smiled too, and opened his mouth to say something. He stopped, though, when he heard footsteps coming down the hall.

I looked up, and saw Neil. My eyes brightened, and I couldn't help but smile. "Hey, Neil!" I called.

He didn't meet my smile, just approached us. I felt my heart sink. _Rose must have convinced him._

"Lily..." He began, hesitating. "We have to talk."

"We... we do?" I whispered, biting my lower lip. "About what?"

Will narrowed his eyes, watching silently.

"Rose told me some... interesting things today."

Of course she had. I remained silent, looking down at the floor.

"...she said you were cheating on me."

I felt pain sear through me. "You believed her?" I asked, my voice full of sorrow.

He must have seen my pain, for his eyes softened. "I'm not sure what to believe anymore," he admitted, his voice muffled.

"I don't think Lily's cheating on you," Will said suddenly. I looked over at him, feeling grateful for his support.

"Stay out of this, Will," Neil said through gritted teeth.

"I'm not cheating on you, Neil," I whispered, looking into his eyes.

Neil looked away. "How can I know for sure?" he asked quietly.

I took a step back, feeling hurt. "You could trust me." I wanted to run, but I somehow couldn't leave him here...

"I do trust you," Neil said softly. "But I just..." His voice trailed off, and he ran a hand through his hair. "You know what? I trust you over Rose. She's just a jealous prat."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. My heart soared.

Will nodded. "Glad you saw the light," he joked.

Neil smiled. "I'm sorry for not believing you in the first place, Lily," he said, looking over at me.

I shrugged, not wanting him to see how much it had really affected me. "It's nothing," I lied.

**Author's Note:**

**Short chapter.... Sorry guys. I think maybe two or three more chapters left. **

**If you have noticed, she has begun to overcome her 'weak self'. Hope this pleases some ;D I've got big plans for it, however. **

**~Cloudsong~**

**New chapters soon.! (I hope...!)**


	15. Quidditch Disasters

Almost everyone in the Gryffindor Tower was enthusiastically talking about the Quidditch match that would take place after lunch. It wold be Gryffindor versus ravenclaw, and if we won this match, our house would have won the Quidditch cup.

"Hey, Lily, are you going to the match today?" Neil asked, who was sitting next to me, hanging upside down from an armchair.

I hesitated. Quidditch wasn't my favorite thing to watch, but since Neil was on the team, I would have to go. "Of course," I replied, smiling slightly. "It'll be fun."

He grinned. "Are you sure you want to go, though? You usually don't go to the matches."

I shrugged. "It's fine; I want to see you play." Silently I put my notebook away, having just finished an essay for History of Magic class.

Neil sat up straight, absentmindedly running a hand through his hair. "Thanks," he murmured, watching me gaze through the window. "You wanna go for a walk?"

I nodded, liking the idea of leaving the common room. "Sure," I replied, getting up and stretching. "Where're Will and Jake, anyway?" I asked as we were leaving the common room; I hadn't seen them all day.

Neil rolled his eyes. "They've been practicing Quidditch since dawn. Want to make sure we win..." They were chasers on the team, and Neil was a beater.

I couldn't help but smile. "They're going to be tired during the game," I laughed.

He laughed too. "That's what I said," he replied, putting his arm around me. "And plus, I wanted to spend time with you."

I blushed slightly, liking how he would always do that. "I'm glad," I murmured. "I love spending time with you." It was true; being him was when I was happiest.

Neil laughed, kissing my forehead briefly. He opened his mouth to say something, but he was cut off by a glare. I looked up, and saw Scorpius glaring at us.

"What do you want, _Malfoy_?" Neil spat, removing his arm from around me. I hadn't told him that Scorpius liked me, yet I think he knew, as he had been being fowl towards him whenever they met in hallways.

"Nothing with you, _Griffith_." Scorpius glared at him.

"Then leave." Neil's voice was a dangerous whisper.

"No- don't fight," I said, stepping in front of him. "What is it, Scorpius?"

Scorpius didn't look at me, just continued glaring at Neil. "I'd wipe that smug look off your face, _Neil_." He smirked. "You won't be so complacent after Ravenclaw beats you today." I had never heard Scorpius talk like this, and I had a hunch that he wasn't only being hostile towards Neil because of Quidditch.

Neil narrowed his eyes. "I'm sure won't be so keen to get in my way after I clobber you," he threatened, pulling out his wand.

Scorpius rolled his eyes. "You scare me so much," he said sarcastically. He swept a freezing look over me, then left.

Neil angrily put his wand back in his robes again, and hit his head against the wall. "That Malfoy thinks he's so great," he muttered.

I stayed silent. The two were always looking for excuses to fight with each other, and I felt slightly guilty, being the reason why. "Shall we go to the grounds, then?" I asked quietly, glancing over at him.

He nodded, still scowling. I sighed, hating that he was angry.

**OoOoO**

Neil and I ended up spending the afternoon together, and his mood lightened after a while. It was beautiful out; sunny, yet cool in the shade.

"Hey Lily..." Neil murmured, stroking my hair. I had my head on his shoulder.

"Yes?" I asked, looking up at him.

"Do you think I'm... being unfair to Mal- Scorpius?" he asked quietly.

I sat up straight, and looked into his blue eyes. "Yes," I said finally, my voice quiet. "You both are being... quite immature."

Neil angrily ran a hand through his hair. "What am I supposed to do? He wants to steal you from me."

My heart sank. "No he doesn't," I murmured. "And I'm not an object to be 'stolen'."

He smiled slightly. "I know," he muttered. "Sorry for saying it like that..." He trailed off. "But he does like you, and I'm just..." He struggled for the right words. "I'm just worried that he'll get you."

I patted his leg. "Scorpius is my friend, but you're much more than that to me."

"You mean you don't feel anything towards him but friendship?" he asked in a muffled voice, staring at the ground.

I nodded solemnly. "Nothing," I replied. Was that the truth, though?

"Do you think he likes you?" Neil asked suddenly, looking up at me.

His eyes were locked on mine. "Well..." I trailed off, not sure if I should tell him what I knew. "I think... I think he does like me."

Neil narrowed his eyes. "I knew it," he said bitterly. "Can't he just get with someone else?"

I grimaced. "My cousin would be thrilled if he liked her back," I said, trying to lighten his mood.

It didn't work. He seemed very mad at this news. "I won't let him get you... you mean too much to me." He stood up, and I did too. He was scowling.

"I have to go prepare for the match," he said quietly, his eyes still narrowed. Briefly he kissed me, then left. "See you there?"

I waved, then sank to the ground. What if he did something stupid? I wished I hadn't told him.

**OoOoOoO**

The Quidditch pitch was full, and I had trouble finding a seat. Normally, I would have sat with Neil, Will and Jake, but now, since they were playing, I sat on my own. I didn't mind, however, as I listened to others talking animatedly.

"Do you think Gryffindor will win?" a first-year asked her friend eagerly.

"Of course! We're the best team ever."

I smiled slightly, looking down at the pitch. The two teams were coming out onto the field.

ravenclaw came out first, sporting their normal blue and black robes. I saw Scorpius near the front of the team; he was the seeker. The Ravenclaw team only had one girl on it, the rest were boys.

The Gryffindor team came out shortly as well, led by my cousin, Albus. He was the Quidditch captain of the team. I saw Neil near the back, and though I was up high, I could see that he was still upset. He held his beater's club in one hand, broomstick in the other.

A loud bang sounded, and the bludgers and the snitch were released. The two teams rose into the air, and the quaffel was thrown up.

"And they're off!" Erica Smith, a Hufflepuff said, being the one to commentate that day. "Gryffindor in possession! Will shoots- HE SCORES! Gryffindor in the lead! Ten to zero!"

I watched as Will took a lap of honor around the field, coming feet away from the stand I was sitting in. Neil flew towards Albus, hitting a bludger away with his bat. He was close enough for me to see him scowling in Malfoy's direction.

"Jake of Gryffindor has the quaffel- THAT WAS DELIBERATE! PENALTY FOR Ravenclaw!" Erica yelled. One of the Ravenclaw beaters had hit a bludger towards Jake, making him almost fall off his broom.

It soon became a tie; 50 to 50. I saw Albus flying around, searching for the snitch. Scorpius was doing the same.

I couldn't make out where Neil was. The last time I had seen him was about five minutes ago. _He must be on the other side of the pitch, _I thought to myself.

I glanced over at the other people in my stand, then quickly back to the game. Gryffindor scored... then Ravenclaw. They were tied again.

All of a sudden, a strong gust of wind swept through the pitch. I narrowed my eyes, pushing my hair out of my face. Then I saw it.

Scorpius was holding a beater's bat; his fellow team-mate had lent it to him. I opened my mouth to scream a warning to Neil, who was looking the other way, about to take off after the other bludger.

It all happened so fast... Scorpius hit the fast-moving bludger at the back of his head, and Neil fell his broomstick hurtling after him.

"_No!_" I screamed, jumping up. He was laying on the ground, and I saw blood pooling out around him.

"THAT WAS DELIBERATE!" Erica yelled, and there were outbursts all over the pitch. "Malfoy just hit Griffith with a bludger! SOMEONE GET A HEALER!"

The Gryffindor team all descended towards him, and I saw Will and Jake in the lead. As I saw Madam Pomfrey rush towards them, I couldn't help but notice the look of horror on her face. She normally stayed calm.

**OoOoO**

I sat, shaking, on the edge of my chair in the Hospital Wing. Most of the team, and many Gryffindors were there. The match had been suspended, but Gryffindor had caught the snitch just as Neil had been injured.

Tears rolled down my cheek. Madam Pomfrey didn't emerge until half an hour later. She was instantly mobbed with questions.

"Is he all right?"

"Will he die?"

She put her hand up for silence. "Lily Potter, are you here?" she asked, peering through the crowd.

I stood up quickly, my eyes wide. "I'm here," I whispered.

She nodded for me to come, telling Jake and Will to accompany me. We were led into a wing that was closed off. Neil was laying on a bed, unconscious. His wounds looked bad.

"Is... is he all right?" I whispered, staring at him with blurry eyes due to my tears.

Madam Pomfrey met our gaze. "I... I'm not sure if he'll make it," she said quietly.

I felt as if my world had ended.

**Author's Note:**

**You asked for a cliff-hanger, so here you go. :P No, Neil didn't die. Yet. You will see what happened in the next chapter.**

**I am very busy with schoolwork, as it is the end of the school year. I'll finish the fic over the summer, probably :)**

**~Cloudsong**


	16. Chapter 16

I spent the next days at Neil's bedside, only leaving at night, and for meals. Will and Jake stayed with me, trying to cheer me up. Their attempts didn't work, however; Neil hadn't recovered.

Scorpius had been punished severely, getting detention, and being threatened to be expelled. Though I knew he deserved it, I felt a twinge of regret; this was all my fault. If he had only told me sooner about his feelings, this would all have been so different.

Neil's parents were going to arrive that day. How they were going to enter the castle, being muggles, was beyond me. I was anticipating meeting his mother, since she was my favorite author, but my worries about Neil overpowered my excitement.

"Lily?"

I looked up, seeing Jake and Will standing there. I blinked. "Yes?" My voice cracked slightly from disuse.

"We should go down," Will said quietly. "You've been here all morning... aren't you hungry?"

I shook my head, my gaze resting on Neil's unconscious body again. "I suppose we should go down." My voice was distant, and I got up, stretching.

Madam Pomfrey came bustling over. "Good, I was just about to tell you to leave." She narrowed her eyes. "You shouldn't be spending so much time here, Ms Potter."

I shrugged. "Is he... recovering?" My usual question.

She didn't reply, just nodded. I sighed, and turned away. "I'll be back," I whispered, stroking Neil's cheek for a moment. He didn't move; I hadn't expected him to.

The three of us walked down the corridors in silence. I didn't mind very much, but I felt guilty for being so distant to Will and Jake. "How do you think his parents are getting in? They're muggles, aren't they?"

Will raised an eyebrow. "Muggles? Only his father is! Jane is a witch!"

My eyes widened. "What? How is that possible...?" I felt stupid for not have knowing this before.

Jake rolled his eyes. "Just because she lives like a muggle doesn't _make_ her one." He laughed. "I don't think his father is coming- can't get by the protection."

I blinked, still in shock from the news. "A witch... I never suspected anything."

Will and Jake suddenly stopped walking, and I looked up.

"What do _you_ want?" Will snarled, his wand out instantly.

Scorpius narrowed his eyes. "Lily, I have to talk to you." His voice was urgent, and he didn't even look at the others.

"She doesn't _want_ to talk to you," Jake snapped. "Haven't you done enough damage? You almost _killed_ Neil!"

I hesitated. "What is it, Scorpius?" I asked cooly, meeting his gaze.

"I want to talk to you," he repeated, a flicker of annoyance crossing his face. "_Alone_."

Would that hurt anyone? I didn't think so. "Fine," I said through gritted teeth. "I'll meet you in the Great Hall."

Jake and Will looked outraged, but they nodded, stalking off.

Scorpius was silent, staring at me for a long while.

"What is it?" I asked again, meeting his gaze.

He hesitated. "I'm sorry," he blurted out. "I shouldn't have.. you know..."

I was silent. "Why did you do it, Scorpius?" My voice was barely a whisper.

"I don't know," he sighed. "It was a sudden impulse... I was jealous..."

A flicker of annoyance flashed through me. "Scorpius, your apology won't fix what you did." I was surprised at my own bravery. "But... if he does get better, you should try to apologize to him instead."

His eyes narrowed. "Never." He angrily clenched his hands into fists. "He stole what was _mine_."

"I was never yours," I protested.

He angrily turned away. "So this is it? This is the end of our friendship together. I see that you'd choose him over me."

"Don't be thick," I retorted. "You might have killed him! Am I supposed to just pretend nothing ever happened?"

He whipped around. "I didn't mean to hurt him," he snarled, making me flinch. "You know what? I don't care anymore. You can just forget about me; keep hanging out with _him_." Without another word, he stalked off, leaving me alone.

Silently I watched him go. "I will," I called after him. I didn't think he heard me.

**A/N:**

**I want to wrap this fic up, so that I can start new ones in the summer. School's almost out, yay! New chapter soon, and sorry for this short chapter.**

**~Cloudsong**


	17. Chapter 17

It was raining again. Lightning clapped overhead, thunder rumbled. Most of the students were inside, not wanting to get caught in the storm. And I? I welcomed the storm, having come out right when it had started. Being in the rain made me feel closer to Neil, even closer, perhaps, than when I was in the Hospital wing with him. It had been in the middle of a rainstorm that Neil had told me he loved me... It had been in the middle of a rainstorm when I was _happy_. Happy with _him_.

Neil's recovery hadn't gone for the better or for the worse. He was still unconscious, and Madam Pomfrey said that if he didn't regain consciousness in the next day, he would be flown out to St. Mungo's hospital.

The idea of him going to the hospital so far away at first scared me. Having him leave, and maybe never come back scared me _more_. How would I live myself if he died there, without me being there with him? I wouldn't.

His mother, Jane Griffith was going to arrive today to see him. If this had happened at any other time, I would be thrilled to meet my favorite author. But now, I was too depressed to care.

It had been over these last days that I had realized how much I relied on Neil. He was the first thing I thought about in the morning when I woke up... The last thing I would think about before I went to sleep. He was always on my mind, especially now.

I spent as much time as I could in the Hospital Wing with him, never tiring of looking at his blank face... My cousins attempted to lure me away from the Hospital Wing, but their attempts were fruitless.

It was only now that I ventured out of the castle. The last time it had rained, I had been with Neil.

Lightning struck the ground in front of me. Much to close. I was unharmed, but barely. Silently he took a step back, panic beginning to well inside of me. The storm was directly overhead, and it was a rule that students weren't to go out in the rain at times like this. I could very well be hit by lightning.

Any other person would turn and run, but I stood there, frozen with fear. It was an awful quality I possessed, not being able to run when in danger, but now wasn't going to be the moment to get over it. I tried to step back, slipping and falling into a mud puddle behind. My robes became soaked in mud, and I coughed, having swallowed some.

"Lily!" The voice took me by surprise, and I stood up, almost falling in again. Will was running towards me, his hands over his head in an attempt to shield himself from the rain.

"Lily- what are you doing out here?" he demanded, taking my arm to help me from falling. "We're in the middle of the storm- it's dangerous!" He watched as I coughed some more, trembling with fear and cold.

"Sorry," I gasped, flinching as thunder clapped above us.

"Come on," Will said quietly, turning and marching towards the castle, still holding onto my arm.

I didn't attempt to get free; he was helping me from falling into other puddles.

We entered the castle, and I felt a surge of relief as we were out of the rain.

"Why on earth were you out there?" Will asked as I broke free from his grasp, leaning up against the wall with my hands over my face. My world was spinning around me dizzily from swallowing so much dirty water.

How could I think of an answer that wasn't the truth? I was a terrible liar. "I was... I wanted to see the rain," I murmured, looking up to see him raise an eyebrow.

"Right," he said under his breath. I knew he didn't believe me. "Jane just got in... she's in the Hospital wing with Neil."

My head whipped up. She was here... already? "She is?" I breathed, feeling a rush, for a reason that I couldn't quite explain.

Will nodded. "You should go get changed before you go see her... are you all right?" he asked, seeing me choke slightly.

"Yes- fine," I said quickly. Would Jane judge me...? Would she know that I was the reason for Neil's accident?

"Let's go to the common room then," Will said finally, after watching me for a moment. He didn't seem quite convinced by my actions, and I wondered if he would question them.

He didn't, to my relief. We walked up to the Gryffindor tower in silence, me seeing things in double.

"I'm sure Jane is excited to meet you," Will said as we approached the portrait.

I gulped. "W-why?" I asked quietly, hating how my voice came out sounding squeaky from fear.

Will raised an eyebrow. "Because you're his girlfriend, of course!" he exclaimed, smirking. "I bet she knows all about you. He talked about you to everyone... probably to her, too."

My stomach did a summersault. He had? "Oh," was all I could choke out.

We approached the portrait, and Will glanced over at me again. "Don't be nervous... I'm sure she'll love you." He smiled slightly, probably trying to comfort me.

I nodded fervently, and walked forward, right into the portrait. Inwardly I cursed, having forgotten to say the password.

"Watch out, deary!" The fat lady trilled, who was lately into singing.

Will looked concerned as I picked myself up off of the ground. "Lily, are you all right? You look awful."

"Gee, thanks," I muttered, reciting the password to the fat lady, who swung open. "Thanks for worrying though, Will... I'm fine; honestly." I forced a smile, which I suspected came out as a grimace.

Will hesitated. "If you say so," he murmured. "I'll wait for you down here... I'm going to visit Neil too."

I nodded, and quietly walked over to the stairs that led up to the girl's dormitory.

When I reached my dormitory, I opened the door, feeling slight shock to see my dorm-mates sitting on my bed. The girl named Trisha rushed forward, hugging me.

"Oh Lily! Are you all right? We heard about what happened to Neil." Trisha pulled away, probably noticing my shock. I had frozen again; this girl had never spoken anything that wasn't 'can you pass me that paper?'.

She had? But Neil had been injured days ago. I stayed silent, feeling my cheeks redden as I looked down at the ground. "I- yeah," I stuttered.

"Are you all right?" My other dorm-mate, Kayle, stood up too, stretching. "It must be hard... losing someone you love."

My face drained of color, and I met their gazes. "He's not lost," I said quietly, feeling myself shaking. From anger or fear, I wasn't sure. "He's going to recover."

"Why of course he is," Trisha said quickly. "You're going to visit him, I suspect?" She flipped her hair, and I caught the scent of lavender from her shampoo.

"Yes," I replied, crossing over to the bathroom. "Thanks for..." My voice trailed off, and I felt awkward. "Thanks for... caring." I didn't really think that they cared, but I didn't really want to be rude. Silently I entered the bathroom, not meeting their gazes as I shut the door.

As I turned to look in the mirror, my eyes widened. My hair limply fell on my shoulders, and I had bags under my eyes. _How do I look so different? _I hadn't changed that much, but it was a shock nonetheless. My appearance hadn't changed so drastically since I had been eight.

Quickly I took a shower, changing into fresh clothes. As I turned to face the mirror again, I felt slight relief to see that I looked more or less the same as I had when Neil was still here.

I exited the bathroom, slightly glad to see that my dorm-mates had left. Quickly I left the dormitory, padding down the steps to meet Will. He was waiting in a chair near the portrait, not talking to anyone. I wondered faintly where Jake was, but it didn't bother me very much; he would be all right.

Will looked up at me as I approached him. "Nice," he commented. He must have noticed how unkept I had looked a few minutes ago.

I blushed, pushing a lock of hair behind my ear. "Thanks," I said, smiling slightly. It took me by surprise; I hadn't smiled for days. "So... are we going?"

He nodded, getting up and stretching. "Yes."

**OoOoOoO**

Will and I entered the Hospital wing, and I looked around, trying to see Jane. She was there, sitting next to her son's bed. As Madam Pomfrey nodded at us, she looked up, and my heart skipped a beat. She was the person I had looked up to my whole life... and now she was here..

My eyes fell on Neil again. He was still unconscious, and my excitement evaporated.

"Lily Potter?" Jane smiled, getting up. She wore a green dress, with a necklace made out of green stones. Her hair was up, and she had bags under her eyes. By the redness in her eyes, I could see that she had lost sleep over the whole event.

"Yes," I said, my voice much to soft.

She came up and gave me a hug. I froze, my eyes wide. Will smirked slightly at my reaction, and went over to Madam Pomfrey to ask if Neil had recovered slightly.

"Lily, it's such a pleasure to finally meet you!" Jane said warmly, releasing me. "Neil told me all about you in letters... Since the day he met you, which was five years ago." She smiled slightly.

My face reddened, and I blinked. "It's nice to meet you, too," I stuttered, feeling stupid.

Will came up beside us. "Lily's a bit shy," he said to Jane, and I looked down. "But she's been so excited to meet you... Think she read some of your books."

Jane was still smiling, and she looked over at me. "You have? Which ones?"

"All of them," I replied, feeling more comfortable around her already. "Your writing is amazing."

She smiled. "You are as sweet as Neil told me." Her eyes became dull again as she looked over at Neil. "Oh dear, I do hope he recovers." She glanced over at Madam Pomfrey. "Is there any sign of it...?"

Madam Pomfrey nodded. "Today he almost became conscious again... I have hope that he will get better before he has to go to St. Mungo's.

My eyes lit up. "Really?" I breathed, feeling happier than I had for days.

As if to answer my prayer, I heard a noise from Neil's bed. I rushed over, my eyes wide with excitement. "Was that him?" I whispered, as everyone clustered around him.

Before anyone could reply, Neil moved his head slightly, grimacing. "Lily?" he muttered, having heard my voice.

My heart skipped a beat, and I bent down beside him. "Neil! You're awake!" My voice was full of happiness, and I felt tears in my eyes from joy.

Jane was clutching at the bed-frame, her eyes wide. "Neil, dear, are you all right?"

Neil opened one eye slightly, seeing everyone around him. "Mom?" he whispered. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to make sure you're okay," Jane replied, smiling.

Neil closed his eye again. "What happened?" he said under his breath, his voice still scratchy from not being used for so long.

"You got hit in the head by a bludger, mate," Will replied. I was glad he didn't mention who had hit it. It was inevitable that he would hear about it someday, but right now, the only thing that mattered was that he was all right.

"What? How?" Neil attempted to sit up, but fell back again, flinching. "Ouch... I feel really hurt."

Madam Pomfrey rushed off to get him some medicine, and the rest of us watched him anxiously.

"You all right, Lily?" Neil asked, smiling slightly, despite the pained look on his face.

I nodded. "Yes," I replied, smiling. "I missed you... I thought you were going to..." My voice trailed off, and I was unable to finish my sentence.

"...Die?" He finished it for me.

I nodded fervently, my eyes wide. "I was so afraid." My voice was barely a whisper, and I looked down.

He closed his eyes again. "I'm not going to die for a while yet," he promised.

Jane reached a hand out and touched her son's forehead. "You're burning up a fever!" she exclaimed.

Madam Pomfrey bustled over, putting a bit of medicine into Neil's mouth, which he swallowed. "You'll be better in no time," she said.

I could hear the relief in her voice.


	18. Epilogue

I smiled slightly as I shut my trunk, hearing it make a small snap. I looked around the empty dormitory with a sigh. My dorm-mates had gone down a long time ago, to say their good-byes. And me? I had spent that time laughing and joking around with Neil and his friends, and now was trying to finish up my packing before the Hogwarts Express left.

Neil's recovery had made my spirits lift, and my shyness had left me almost entirely that year. He had left the hospital wing long ago, and we had continued our relationship happily.

I was slightly sad to be leaving Hogwarts, but I would be coming back next year, and next year Rose wouldn't be here. Perhaps that would be the year that I would be more open around everyone. Without my cousin around, I would be able to talk to others that weren't just Jake, Will, and Neil.

But Scorpius was leaving next year. He didn't matter to me that much... anymore. We barely talked, in fact. I don't think he likes me anymore. But there was still something there... I missed being friends with him, even if it had been so long ago.

_So much had changed. _Shaking my head, I flicked my wand, with a hasty "_Wingardium Leviosa_," making my trunk hover above the ground. I looked around my room one last time before passing through the doorway, closing it without looking back. A new era would begin now. Summer time.

Neil and I had made plans to see each other that summer, meeting up with Jake and Will at Diagon Alley. True, I would miss them in those long months with barely anything to do... but I would be able to spend time with my family, and we would send each other owls.

I hated the thought of never seeing Scorpius again; we probably wouldn't be in contact after all of what happened. Hogwarts was the only place where I could know that I would be seeing him, and the thought of that possibility going away forever was quite frightening.

"Lily! You ready to go?" I looked down, seeing Neil waiting in the common room.

I grinned, skipping down to meet him. "Yup. I just got my trunk packed."

He nodded, ruffling my hair. I scowled, sticking my tongue out in mock anger as I turned away.

"Where are you going?" he asked, tipping his head to one side as he watched me approach the Portrait hole.

"There's something I have to do... meet you at the platform?" I asked, turning around.

He nodded. "Sure," he replied, not asking what it was that I had to do. I was glad; Neil was so understanding. "See you there."

I smiled, waved, and walked out of the Gryffindor tower for the last time that year.

Before I knew it, I was in the grounds, looking around at the scenery I knew so well for the last time before we'd leave. They were so beautiful... green before the heat would hit them and make them turn yellow... so the teachers would tell me. (Students weren't allowed here in the summer.)

I remembered how I had been here with Scorpius, when we had been friends. We had laughed, talked, and I had fallen in love for the first time. He had tried to help me, trying to make me less shy.

_'Lily! You can't just let people control you like that._' Scorpius' voice echoed through my head, and I shivered. I had forgotten the sound of his smooth, calming voice.

But then I thought of Neil. He had been here when Scorpius hadn't been. We had spent countless hours out here... He had told me of his feelings for me here.

'_I would do anything for you, Lily,_' he had whispered.

Yes, I loved Neil. Loved him more than anything in the world. And I still did; he was so different than Scorpius... And yet... I still felt regret whenever I saw Scorpius. Regret for what could have been. Somehow, I needed to see him one last time... see him and tell him all of these things. I needed to get rid of these thoughts, and telling him would most likely make me feel better.

But I didn't think I would find him. There had to be a way, though... had to be a way to find him one last time.

I found it quite easily. The Slytherin common room had a known location, and I stood there, waiting for someone to come out.

After a long time of waiting, someone did come out. Her name was Reina Blew. She wasn't exactly unpleasant, so I called out to her.

"Reina!" I exclaimed, running up.

She raised an eyebrow, taking a step back. "What?" she asked crossly.

"I need you to do me a favor..." My voice trailed off. "_Please." _

"And what may that be?"

I hesitated. "I need to talk to Scorpius Malfoy. Could you tell him to come out here?"

Reina looked like she was going to say no, then she shrugged. "Sure, why not? Hang on." She disappeared into the door, coming back a few minutes later.

"He doesn't want to talk to you," she informed me. "Sorry." Reina turned away, but I stopped her.

"Oh, could you let me in? I really need to tell him something... it's important."

There was a long pause, then she nodded. "Fine. But you'd better not do anything that'll get me in trouble." She opened the door, then led me in wordlessly.

The common room was dark, yet full of light. It was much larger than the Gryffindor tower, yet somehow... colder.

"He's over there," Reina said, pointing to a chair in a far, lone corner. She turned and left, and I muttered a thank-you.

As I approached, I thought about what I was going to say. What could I say? I had to apologize, and say good-bye... forever.

"Scorpius?" I said timidly, tapping him on the shoulder.

He stood up, his eyes wide. "How did you get in here?" he demanded.

I shrugged. "Someone... let me in." I wasn't going to give Reina away; she could get in trouble. "But that's not important right now."

"What exactly do you want?" His voice wasn't welcoming, and I resisted the urge to turn and run.

But I stood my ground. "I wanted to say good-bye," I said, my voice stronger than before. "Since you're not coming back next year."

He watched me, crossing his arms. "True," he replied. "But you could have done that on the platform."

"I could have," I said slowly. "But I also wanted to say something..." I looked up at him, seeing his dark gray, stormy eyes. I suppressed the urge to shiver; his eyes had always been such a mystery to me... So dark and gray... they were beautiful, almost.

"Well?" Scorpius pressed, turning away.

"I wanted to tell you... that I really missed being your friend this year."

He laughed quietly. "Really?" he said, his voice bitter. "You didn't seem like you did. Too busy with _Neil_, weren't you?"

Jealousy? "Don't tell me that you're jealous, because I won't... I won't believe it." I hated to admit it, but he made me feel timid... like I had before.

"I'm not jealous," Scorpius replied, shrugging. "I used to be... but I'm not anymore." He turned to face me. "I used to like you, Lily. But I don't anymore."

I didn't expect him to have. "I know," I replied. "Have you found someone else?" My voice was casual, and I hoped he had.

A smile crept onto his lips. "Yes, actually. I did."

"Who?" I dared to ask. My curiosity was back.

"Rose," he replied, shrugging again. "You'd be surprised how much a person can change."

Rose? I narrowed my eyes. "Out of all of the people in Hogwarts, you choose her?" I asked quietly. How could he be so... blind? A person like her couldn't change.

"She's changed," he repeated. "A lot. You'll be surprised yourself."

No I wouldn't. Rose and I wouldn't see each other ever again, if I had anything to do with it. "But she still hates me."

"Wrong again," Scorpius said, sitting down on his black trunk. "I really like her."

I wanted to feel happy for him, but I couldn't. Rose would ruin his life.

Or perhaps she wouldn't. Maybe she had indeed changed.

"We should go. The train'll be leaving soon." His voice startled me.

I nodded. "Yeah." I backed away. "Will you owl me sometime?" I said hopefully.

"Sure," he replied, standing up. "You'll be seeing me this Summer.. Rose is bringing me to meet her family."

I grinned. "I want to be there to see her father's reaction." Without stopping to think, I rushed forward and hugged him. "You were a great friend, Scorpius." _And sometimes I wish we could have been more._

He awkwardly patted me on the back. "You were too," he replied, pulling away.

I forced a smile, and turned, running toward the door.

**OoOoOoO**

Neil welcomed me back with a kiss on the cheek. "Where were you?" he asked curiously.

I kissed him back, smiling. "I had to say good-bye to someone," I replied.

He was silent for a moment. "Scorpius?"

I nodded. "He's not coming back next year, and we won't see each other ever again..." My voice trailed off.

"I understand," he replied, putting his arm around me.

"I know," I replied, still smiling.

He grinned. "What am I going to do without you this Summer?" He shook his head, looking down.

"We'll see each other," I promised. "And I'll send you owls every day."

He smiled. "I know," he replied. "But it's still hard... you're so important to me."

"You're important to me too," I told him, my voice sincere. "And you'll be coming over to my house to meet everyone."

Neil chuckled. "D'you think your family will like me?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Of course they will," I replied, laughing too. "And even if they didn't, we'd keep seeing each other." A life without Neil wouldn't be a life at all. I needed him now.

He looked over at me, staring into my eyes.

It took me by surprise; his eyes... they were so blue and full of light. They were the exact opposite of Scorpius' eyes. Scorpius' eyes were dark, like a stormy day. He made me feel small and timid... And Neil's eyes were bright like a sunny day, and he made me feel strong, and more confident in myself.

It was obvious who was better for me.

"What're you staring at?" he asked, breaking into my thoughts.

I blushed. "Your eyes," I murmured, looking down.

He ruffled his hair. "Why?"

I shook my head, knowing I wouldn't be able to explain myself. "No reason. Let's go; the train's about to leave."

He nodded, and gently kissed my forehead before walking off towards the door, holding my hand.

As I watched him, still smiling, I felt happier than ever. When I was a little girl, the boy I had always dreamed of was dark and mysterious, with gray eyes, preferably. Scorpius would have been my prince.

But I had had it all wrong. My prince didn't have gray eyes. His eyes were blue.

**Author's Note:**

** So this is the end... the final chapter of 'He Had Gray Eyes'. I loved writing this fic, despite some of the bad reviews I got ;D**

** I want to thank each and every one of you who have reviewed this fic from the start. Your support was amazing, and I loved hearing everything you had to say.**

**To those of you who want to read fics I'll be posting in the future, put me on your Author's Alert, and you'll be notified when I post my new fic! **

**~Cloudsong**


End file.
